Page 20 of Deacon

“You look tired.”

I released a breath that almost passed for a laugh. “That obvious?”

“You look like your brain chewed on you all night.”

That wasn’t inaccurate. I set my coffee on the desk and adjusted the strap of my bag. “I came in a little early. I’m going to run upstairs and check on Jackson before my shift starts.”

Blue’s expression softened. “He made it through the night.”

“I heard.” The news should have helped more than it did, but the tightness beneath my ribs stayed exactly where it was.

She studied me for a moment. “You want me to come with you?”

I shook my head. “No. I just need to see him for myself.”

“Okay. I’ll keep an eye on things down here.” She watched me pick up my coffee, reconsider, and leave it on the desk. “You’ll be fine,” she added more quietly.

I managed a small nod and turned toward the elevators before I could lose my nerve.

The machines were the first thing I registered when I entered Jackson’s ICU room, steady and relentless as they tracked everything his body was still managing to do. Then I looked at him, and the awful tightness closed around my chest again.

Seventeen years had turned the lean, reckless boy I remembered into a broad, hard man who looked built to take up space and defend every inch of it. His dark hair had grown long enough to pull back, though strands now lay loose around his temples, and a thick beard sharpened the stubborn shape of his jaw. Bruises spread beneath the bandages. Tubes ran everywhere, his face too pale against the pillow, but even broken open beneath hospital lights, he still looked unmistakably like Jackson.

He had always seemed too solid to be breakable.

I stopped at the foot of the bed and forced my attention onto the chart. Vitals, drips, lines, and numbers. Things I could name. Things that required skill without asking me to feel anything while I used it. My fingers tightened around the clipboard as I checked each reading.

“Vitals are steady,” I murmured into the room. “That’s good. You hear me? That’s good.”

He didn’t move. Of course he didn’t, but I stepped closer anyway, my gaze catching on the bruising beneath his beard and the heavy brows over eyes I remembered far too clearly. Those dark eyes had always been watchful, even when he laughed, carrying more than he allowed anyone else to see.

“You always did have terrible timing,” I whispered.

The door opened behind me, and I turned fast, every wall inside me snapping back into place.

Priest entered first. He was built nearly as broad as Jackson, with tousled dark-blond hair, a rough beard, and pale blue eyes that assessed the room before settling on the bed. Another man followed, leaner through the face but no less dangerous, his dark hair clipped short along the sides and tattoos covering his throat, hands, and one side of his face. Where Priest carried his authority openly, the tattooed man held himself with a quieter edge, watching everything without offering a word.

“Oh.” I straightened and shifted the clipboard against my chest. “I was just checking on him before my shift.”

The other man’s gray-green gaze moved over me, quick and sharp, while Priest looked directly at Jackson. “How is he?”

“Vitals are steady. He made it through the night. That was the big hurdle. Now it’s day by day.” Professional language settled between us like a shield, and I took a small step backward. “I should get downstairs.”

“Wait.”

I stopped and turned. Priest studied me differently now, as though something had settled into place behind his eyes. “What’s your name?”

The hesitation before my answer annoyed me. “Lila.”

Something shifted across his face. “Lila,” he repeated slowly. “Deacon knew a Lila once. Talks about her all the time.” He glanced toward Jackson before looking at me again. “The memory of her got him through some rough days.”

The words struck like a slap, heat flashing through me before I could contain it. “Yeah?” My voice came out sharper than I intended. “Maybe she should’ve been more than a memory.”

Silence dropped hard into the room. Priest raised his hands slightly. “I didn’t mean…”

The door opened before he could finish. “Well,” Evan said brightly as he walked in, “Blue told me I’d find you here before shift.”

I closed my eyes for half a second. Of course she had.