Page 81 of A Necessary Wife

Amelia had wandered aimlessly through Stapleton’s extensive grounds for hours, hugging her shawl tightly about her shoulders as she pondered her troubling situation.

She had fallen for her husband, and she had to hide it forever.

The gardens hardly comforted her but she kept going. They were very well cared for and, seeing nothing for her to do, she let her steps eventually lead her back to the ruined cottage Samuel was working to rebuild.

Not a lot of progress seemed to have been made since her last visit, but there was smoke coming from one chimney. She dared not enter and looked around for her brother-in-law.

Of Samuel or anyone else, there was no sign as she circled the structure twice. The woods closest seemed empty, quiet but for distant bird calls and the odd scratching sound coming from the undergrowth.

The place reminded her of her own empty cottage, and her abandoned dream of having a thriving garden there. She did not want to live there alone anymore, but the hope of a place to belong still made her ache.

Amelia had longed for a home of her own all her life. She had expected to already have a place and a garden to tend as she grappled with the challenges a marriage brought.

Love this time felt sharper and more painful, too, knowing it would never be returned. She had a wonderful husband who didn’t want her to love him. A daughter who preferred another woman to stand in her place. At least Adam seemed to accept her, but he would always be influenced by Lucy, and when he was older, he would notice her disdain and might think less of Amelia.

Was a marriage of convenience ever a truly good idea for a woman? She could not help but care for those around her.

She wasn’t sure how long she’d stood contemplating the very unhappy future ahead of her before a twig snapped to her right, and she spun, gasping in fright.

Samuel raised his hands. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

She calmed herself. “You didn’t. Not really.”

He edged closer and glanced around. “What are you doing out here, and alone?”

“I needed some air,” she said, hoping he would accept that and not question her further.

His smile was immediate. “Well, there is a lot of air in the countryside, I’ve found.”

“True.” She glanced down at her hands, studied her fingertips. She still found it odd not to have dirt under her nails. She was not meant for an idle life.

“What truly brings you here, Lady Chatham?”

“I don’t really know.”

He perched on an old fence post a short distance away. “Has something happened between you and my brother? Did you argue again?”

“No.”

“Something must have, and I don’t think you can blame my father for your long face this time. You look utterly miserable, and my brother most certainly is the cause.”

She gulped.

“You don’t have to explain if you don’t want to.”

She couldn’t if she tried, so she rubbed her palms over her arms, agitated that she would have to lie to everyone about her feelings for her husband for as long as she lived. “Nothing has turned out the way I expected it to.”

“Nothing ever does. Plans have a way of changing, some say it’s often for the best.”

She shook her head and turned away. “Not this time.”

“Well, your harsh words brought me to my senses. Changed my mind. Got me out of the woods and back into the family fold.”

She winced. “I have a confession to make. I did not know your wife at all.”

“I know you didn’t, but you remind me of her. Quiet yet outspoken. Passionate about family and duty. I suppose that is why I rebel against doing as expected. She is no longer here to set me straight, but you have. I must continue as she would want me to. But love never goes away, does it?”

Amelia winced. Love had to go away; there was no place for it in her marriage. But that was her burden to bear, not his to know. She threw a smile his way. “Sometimes it does.”