Page 39 of Broken

At the washbasin, Giles rinsed his hands and then dampened a cloth, prepared to cross back to Lilly. Dithers’ expression was hostile. “Now, Dithers. Unless you want to wait for an innocent girl to wake and start screaming from the very sight of me.”

“For Miss Winter, milord.” Red-faced, the butler did as requested.

Giles looked down at the sleeping beauty and shook his head. Now he had two problems to deal with: Lilly’s father, and an angry servant with the ability to make his life difficult. The cloth in his hand dripped water on his foot and reminded him to stop staring. He wiped over Lilly’s face and lips, reached for her hands and wiped them too, then set the cloth aside.

He loosened her gown and eased it off her shoulders and down her body gently. There were a few splatter marks along the hem that needed cleaning, he reasoned. He wasn’t stripping her for any nefarious purpose. As Giles slipped her silk stockings down her legs, she moaned, and he found himself rising without the annoying restriction of clothes.

The red splotches faded from her skin, but her mouth hung open and, to his amusement, Lilly began snoring like a baby bear. His erection remained. So did her chemise.

Giles could not credit his physical reactions at such a time. He juggled the loose-limbed girl under the covers and tucked her into the clean, fresh linens, dragging the blankets up to Lilly’s chin as he always did.

When he was done, he brushed his knuckle beneath Lilly’s jaw, ending her snoring. Her lips pouted, brow scrunching unhappily at his caress. He chuckled, unable to fathom how such a quiet woman’s emotions captivated him so very thoroughly.

He nuzzled her cheek and pressed light kisses to her skin. “Foolish girl, now I have another thing to feel guilty about. Your head will ache like the devil tomorrow.”

Lilly turned her head until her skin touched his lips. He kissed her cheek again, and continued kissing until he reached the corner of her lips. He paused there and searched for the resolve to pull away, but he’d lost it.

Sometime after breaking her heart, he’d lost his own.

Lilly owned him.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

A scratch and shuffle of papers woke Lilly from a confusing sleep. Her eyes refused to open easily, and she lay in her bed wondering why her stomach ached so badly. Her mouth tasted of ashes.

Lilly cracked her eyes open a slit and groaned as bright light pierced her brain. Moving gingerly in the bed, she grew aware that her head throbbed in time with her blood. She wished she could remember why she felt so horrible. She’d gotten used to feeling good again.

Yesterday.

Yesterday, Giles had spurned her simple friendship and destroyed her fragile world. Yes, she remembered that too well. Her chest ached, competing with the pounding in her skull, and she was not sure which one was the winner. Giles had pushed her away, and she had come back to her room to hide her heartbreak.

She was always alone—it was nothing new—but she had become used to hearing Giles’ voice and the touch of his hands upon her. Now both would be gone, and the sense of loss was overwhelming. Lilly raised a hand to her face to prevent the tears in her eyes from spilling, but her limb was as heavy as lead. Pressing her fingers against her eyes, she struggled to control her emotions.

At least her sense of smell hadn’t deserted her. Lemon scent bathed the room in a comforting balm, subtle and soothing, a counterpoint to the pain in her head. She breathed deep and dragged her hand away from her face, rubbing over her aching chest. She was foolish to allow Giles’ rejection to hurt her so badly. She curled up on her side to study the bedpost and the distant door.

She’d locked her bedchamber door last night. The first time she’d ever thought to take such a step. Locked out the pain that waited beyond, and had even sent Atticus away. Poor dog. But if his master didn’t want her then she shouldn’t monopolize his company.

Running her fingers over the stitching on the sheet with one finger, Lilly contemplated the mess her life had become. Nothing was ever allowed to be truly wonderful for long. She should be used to the disappointment, but as a child she’d had far different dreams than this. All she had wanted was a home and to marry someone who would be nice to her. It hadn’t seemed too much to ask.

Lilly heard that faint sound again and realized someone else was in the room. It was probably just Mrs. Osprey. She must be reading or doing something equally involved, because she made scarcely a sound. The housekeeper must have used the spare key to slip into the room while she slept. Lilly hoped Mrs. Osprey had relocked it again. Not that Giles would seek her out anymore.

Not in the mood for company, Lilly lay still, as though she were asleep. She would prefer to pretend a while longer that yesterday had not happened, and that she had never become better acquainted with Giles Wexham.

Without Atticus in the room, she could pretend that this was just another bedchamber in a long line of anonymous guest rooms across England, an unknown location seen through a brief moment of clarity. Just at this moment, she would give anything to have the fog of laudanum settle over her and blur the world away.

But china clinked behind her, reminded her she was being rude. In fact, she was quite amazed at the silence the housekeeper had managed to maintain. Mrs. Osprey was a jittery sort of woman and stayed still for only very short lengths of time. Lilly supposed she should turn around so as not to appear impolite. It wasn’t right to take her disappointment out on Giles’ housekeeper.

With a sigh, Lilly turned over and faced the direction of the sound, blinking her eyes as if waking from sleep, but Mrs. Osprey was not there at all.

Giles sat at her writing table, pen poised beside his teacup with papers scattered before him. He was also looking steadily over his shoulder at her.

Lilly threw the covers over her head and scurried underneath, not wanting to face his rejection again.

However, the sudden movement made her head ache with fresh pain, and she couldn’t hold back her gasp. She cursed herself for showing weakness in front of him, and pulled the covers tighter to her head.

The chair creaked and loud footfalls came closer, tapping against the wood like an army come to make war. Lilly buried herself deeper. Could the man not take the hint that she didn’t want to see him?

She did wish Giles would not stomp across her chamber like that, either. He could at least walk on the carpet. Surely they could hear his footfalls all the way to India.