Page 42 of Fallen Crown

The cab driver gets out to help her with her bag, and whatever he says makes Tucker laugh. My chest tightens at seeing her so light and happy. Is it because her trip to see Enzo went that well? He doesn’t appear to be in the cab with her. Or is she that happy to be home? Or is the cab driver just ten times funnier than me?

“Are we going over, Your Highness?” Jag asks.

“No.” The first time I see her again, I don’t want it to be on the street when I’ve surprised her. She hasn’t reached out to me since she left, and I won’t be the one begging for a scrap of her attention. Besides, if my behavior on the camping trip threw her off-balance, turning up on her doorstep when she’s just returned home would likely drive an even deeper wedge between us. While I might not be completely sure what I want from Tucker, I’m savvy enough to understand more distance isn’t it.

“Have you ever been in love?” I ask Jag while we idle on the side of the road and my gaze is glued to Tucker as she tugs her suitcase toward the front entrance of the building.

“Yes,” Jay says.

“What did it feel like?”

“At the start, it was all-consuming. Couldn’t get enough. Needed to be with her all the time. Love is a drug, and your high is the other person.”

The door closes on Tucker’s building, and I settle into my seat. I just spent a whole week without Tucker, and I was fine. Missed her a bit. Same as I would any friend. Whatever this protective instinct I have toward her is, I’m relieved to hear it’s not the start of something dangerous. The time I spend with Tucker is a want, not a need. A simple but important distinction. I’ve got nothing to worry about.

“Let’s head home,” I say.

Chapter Eighteen

Maren

Sawyer swirls the wine in her glass and breathes out a deep sigh. I’ve just finished rehashing the camping trip, which led me to go to Boston for a week. I left in such a rush that I didn’t explain anything to anyone, and it feels good to get my situation off my chest.

“To summarize,” Sawyer says, “things are weird with you and Enzo, and it’s possible things are even weirder between you and the youngest Summerset.”

“Things were weird between me and Brice, but going to see Enzo clarified the whole situation for me.“ Sort of. Not really.

“How so?”

“I’m lonely,” I say. “I’ve spent almost five years with Enzo, and it’s been hard to have him gone for so long. Brice being affectionate and attentive filled a need. That’s all.”

“Going to see Enzo was a good choice, then?”

“Yes.” Another lie. The strain that seems to live between us since he appeared at my bedside in Chile was still there, and every time Enzo tried to touch me, I tensed up. We slept in the same room, but the king-size bed might as well have been an ocean with us on separate shores.

“Great.” Sawyer pours me another glass of wine. “When is he coming back to the island? Or are you two going to try for a fresh start in Boston? I’d miss you.”

Enzo had floated the idea of moving permanently to Boston, but I told him I couldn’t commit to that when I was in the middle of a major fundraiser for the Alzheimer’s Society. When he accused me of using that as an excuse, I had a hard time defending myself. The life I want is here on the island, and I’d be abandoning all the charities I work for. Enzo can do his work from anywhere, and while I could start over elsewhere, I don’t want to. Another impasse between us. The life that came together so easily after graduation is falling apart at my feet.

“I’m not being honest.” I release a sigh and cradle my head in my hands. “He’s not coming back here any time soon. I have no plans to go there again. I just don’t want anyone pushing me about divorce. We’ll figure our marriage out.” I have no idea how when we seem to want different things, but I’m not giving up because things are temporarily really hard. Even though I couldn’t bring myself to let Enzo too close, we enjoyed each other’s company when we steered clear of any mention of what’s gone wrong between us. “The Brice part is true, though. It’s not him I want. He inspires feelings I miss. That’s all.”

“That’s a contradiction.”

“He’s a shameless flirt, and I’m not too proud to admit I like the attention. That’s all it is. I’m sure of it.”

“As long as you’re sure.“ The skepticism in her voice is impossible to ignore, but I’m not addressing it.

Being around Brice has become easy, and being with Enzo is hard, but that doesn’t mean the easy path is the right one. In fact, when given a choice between an easy route and a hard one during training, I almost always pick the hard one. The end result feels earned, and I’m convinced that’ll be true here too. I’m married to Enzo, and hard or not, that’s the path I’m meant to walk.

After I returned to the island yesterday and spent last night drinking wine with Sawyer, today I’m back to meetings for my various charity boards and a cocktail party to drum up funds for the Alzheimer’s Society tonight. InterFlix wanted to shoot some promotional material for the season, so the board opted to piggyback off their need by making the streaming service a feature of a cocktail party. Get drunk. Be on TV. It’s a win-win for almost everyone. We draw in more people, and those people have a chance at possibly appearing on an international platform.

The team trained without me earlier this morning, and before I slipped into my pale-ocean-blue dress for the event, I considered texting Brice. We didn’t talk while I was gone, and I’ve been hesitant to reach out since I returned. My life felt like it was on the edge of tipping into something I’d never want it to be when I left, and while I’m certain I’ve got my head in a better place now, pursing even a training partnership with Brice is a bad idea. It would be too easy to become confused.

Unlike the last fundraiser, I arrive early to help with organization and to meet with Hye Jin, the InterFlix producer who tried to prod salacious details of my life out of me last time. We greet each other like old friends because I understand how this game is supposed to be played, especially in public. I was raised on appearances. I’m facing the main set of doors, and Hye Jin is chatting to me when I catch sight of a familiar profile. My heart kicks.

Hello, Temptation.

The thought pops into my head before I have a chance to censor myself, but he looks sinfully handsome in his expertly tailored dark-blue suit. A hue that would go well with my lighter ocean shade, as though we’d planned it. Something of what I’m feeling must register on my face because Hye Jin turns to follow my gaze. Whatever I’ve shown her is a mistake, and I can only hope the cameraman who is circulating wasn’t savvy enough to pick up on the shift in the atmosphere.