Page 113 of Heavy Crown

“Most women don’t use the pill one hundred percent correctly, which reduces its effectiveness. Prince Alexander is well aware of this, and I’m assuming, though perhaps I shouldn’t, that he’s the one who opted to take the risk with you.”

Because I told him he could trust me. Is he going to think I’ve tried to trap him? Trick him?

“The pill is 99.7% effective in women who follow the instructions to the letter. It’s only 91% effective when you deviate in any way for any reason, which most women do. That percentage goes down further when you take certain medications or vomit up pills.”

I rub my face, and my stomach swoops low. “What do I do?”

“Do you want to keep the baby?” Dr. Bennett asks.

“Yes.” The confirmation is out before I even have a chance to think. Do I want to keep the baby? Does it make sense to keep the baby? How can I keep the baby?

“You should speak to Prince Alexander. While the situation is understandably complicated, he would want to know, and he would make sure you’re taken care of.”

My heart thuds heavily. Taken care of. Dr. Bennett would never make promises for Alex, but his phrasing reeks of the notion I’d be the other woman. The one with the unacknowledged bastard child. He’d never be able to be a real father to our child, a real partner to me.

I close my eyes and rub my face. “I need to think. I… am I okay to go back to my apartment?”

“Yes, of course. Before you go, I’ll get you some resources. Prenatal vitamins. I can still give you the information for the counselling service, if you’d like?”

I shake my head. “That won’t be necessary.”

He disappears out the door, and I sit in the empty examination room with a hollow heart.

What do I do now?

forty-one

Alex

As soon as the results of the referendum are announced, my father and I speak to the cameras and public on the steps of the Advisory Council building. We both talk about hope and choice, and we treat the victory as though it wasn’t an inch away from tumbling in the wrong direction.

In the car on the way to the palace, my father laments the lack of voting power on the Advisory Council. Though neither of us says it, we realize the letter of the law still might not fall in his favor.

No one ever likes the idea of death being too easy, which is ridiculous. Anyone in proper mental and physical health would choose life over death. Predicate the rules on that central premise, and the law will come out fair. Not convinced that’ll happen with a fifty-fifty split within the council itself. We really need our voting power back. Once I’m the king, I can wield some influence and try to bring the two sides together.

We’re driving up to the estate gates when my father eyes me. “How are you doing? I understand you’ve made some difficult choices lately.”

Since I capitulated to Simone and the arranged marriage, I haven’t spoken to my parents about my almost rebellion. Much like the referendum results, we’ve behaved as though I didn’t almost tumble out of the line of succession. Things between the three of us have resumed as though I never had an affair with our pastry chef. They’ve erased her, and I’ve allowed it for the sake of family unity.

“You’re actually bringing her up?” I ask.

“I am,” he says. “You seem very...” He struggles to find the word. A flash of annoyance crosses his face. “Unhappy with the choice you’ve made.”

Christ, I hope I haven’t been that obvious to Simone. She doesn’t deserve my misery. I did this to all of us with my lack of willpower. In seeking a corner of my life free of the monarchy’s restrictions, in trying to ease my loneliness, I almost blew the whole thing up.

“Are you suggesting I should have made a different choice?”

He purses his lips. “I was prepared for you to make a different choice.”

“It’s too late now,” I say. My chest compresses with the crushing weight of the path I’ve gone down.

With both hands, he rubs his cheeks. “I wish I could tell you it wasn’t too late. But you’re right. It is. Public opinion, our relationship with Denmark, and Simone’s reputation are at stake now.”

“I promised her I wouldn’t embarrass her. I don’t need a reminder about what’s on the line. I won’t let anyone down.” He’s not lecturing me, but I’m anticipating one.

“I wish you’d spoken with your mother and me. We tried to discuss this with you, but you wouldn’t see us.”

“Any messages you had could have been passed through Desmond.”