Page 81 of Scarred Crown

What girl would risk her most trusted friendship for a few mediocre make-out sessions?

Thank god Nick will never find out.

I’m clear-headed now.

Once he’s done with Vicky, and we’ve had some time to put the barn incident behind us, maybe we can get back on even footing. I just have to hold on long enough to get there.

“I can’t go with you, Alex. I’m sorry.”

“Because of Nick? You realize he has a girlfriend?” His tone is biting.

“It’s not—” I sigh. It’s Nick, but it’s not about my conflicted feelings for him. I’ve managed to bury those way down under my anger over our disintegrating friendship.

How do I tell Alex that Nick dislikes him so intensely that any association with him would detonate our friendship? Alex probably wouldn’t believe me anyway given how I carried on with him. Back then I thought my friendship with Nick was strong enough to withstand anything. We were indestructible. I’m not so naïve anymore.

“I don’t want you to get the wrong idea,” I say.

“Consider me warned. Come with me.”

I shake my head. “I’ve got a lot of homework. I volunteer at the homeless shelter tomorrow night serving dinner.” Just what every sixteen-year-old longs to do. When my supervisor asked for volunteers, I didn’t hesitate. Operation Keep Jules Distracted.

“I could join you. It’ll be good publicity. We can go to the dinner late.”

He’s not going to give up, and a few months ago, I might have given in, taken a chance. But my friendship with Nick is so fragile now. Any outward show of support for his older brother will set fire to the remnants of our friendship. Of that, I’m sure.

“You’re not going to win me over, Alex.” I purse my lips.

“Doesn’t feel like you’ve even given me a proper chance.” He stares at his helmet and then glances at me.

Had I? Not really. From that first kiss, my heart and my head kept trying to tell me we weren’t right for each other. But I bottled my uncertainty, smoothed over it in a haze of make-out sessions. I never let him have any of the parts of me Nick already unknowingly possessed. At the time, I couldn’t have told Alex what was holding me back, and now that I can, telling him seems cruel and pointless. Nick and I will never be a thing. Pouring out my heart to Alex is yet another betrayal.

“Nick’s a bloody fool to choose Vicky over you.” Alex climbs off his bike and ventures closer.

“It’s not like that between me and Nick. There was no choice to be made.”

“No?” Alex searches my face in the light from the overhead lamp. “Not even the night you broke up with me?”

Heat creeps up my neck. I will take that kiss to my grave. “Not even then.”

“Liar.” A hint of a smile tinges the edges of Alex’s lips.

“If Nick is happy, I’m happy for him. That’s what friends do.” I raise my chin. A true statement, but not in this case. Every time I see Nick, neither of us seems very happy anymore. Once he and Vicky break up, things will return to normal.

“If you ever need a Nick replacement—friend or otherwise—you’ve got my number.” He scans my face for one more beat before tugging on his helmet and walking to his motorcycle.

The sound of his bike roaring out of our gates echoes in the still night.

A Nick replacement? Clearly, Alex doesn’t understand how these things work.

No one will ever replace Nick.

Of all the realizations I’ve had the last few months, that truth is quite possibly the most heartbreaking. There’ll never be another Nick, and I’m not sure I’ll ever get my Nick back.

Julia

My mother beat me into the office, and she’s snagged my seat behind a desk that was hers for roughly thirty years. It’s mine now, but you wouldn’t know it from how comfortable she looks in my chair. I didn’t redecorate when I took over her job, so she probably feels right at home.

Being the king’s secretary was always supposed to be temporary. Doesn’t feel so temporary anymore.