Page 142 of One Night with Number Nineteen

“And what, just let them be disappointed?”

“Maybe.” A laugh. “Would that be so bad?”

It’d be fucking torture. A living nightmare. The past rearing its ugly head.

He studies me for a long moment.

“Don’t,” I growl.

“What happened with your mom wasn’t your fault,” he says quietly. “And Lainey isn’t going to stop loving you just because you’re human and fallible and shit goes wrong sometimes.”

“Leo—”

“You were practically a kid. You were allowed to go play a fucking hockey game. And just because Erin left you afterward⁠—”

“That’s not what I’m worried about,” I grind out even though my insides are suddenly filled with shards of ice.

“It’s not?”

“No,” I mutter.

“Sure could have fooled me.”

I scowl.

“Look, just…you owe it to Lainey to think about what she said, okay?” His voice softens. “Mostly because you owe it to everyone you love—and yourself—to be happy.”

“Sawyer!” Tawny calls. “We’re ready for you.”

“You can spend your whole life trying to make sure everyone else gets what they need, but one day”—he shoves me toward Tawny—“you’re going to wake up and realize you never gave yourself a chance to have what you wanted.”

I’m still no closer to figuring out how to make things right with Lainey and Ollie by the time I finish up with Tawny’s social media challenge and hit the showers.

I don’t make it quick and am rewarded by an empty locker room when I come out.

Good.

I don’t want to talk to anyone else.

Especially not Leo.

And also definitely not my mom—who’s calling me.

My stomach twists as I reach for it, everything inside me telling me not to pick up.

But I do anyway.

“Hey, honey!” my mom chirps. “I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind bringing me one of those smoothies I like so much.”

Tension between my shoulder blades.

My jaw clenching tight.

My eyes sliding closed.

My lips parting to say, Of course.

Only that’s not what comes out.