Page 63 of Fallen Rook

I nodded. “Three years passed before I got a knock on my door. Iris stood on the other side with one of the gifts I’d sent Silas that year. An Xbox. She said, ‘A birthday gift is not enough. He wants cake, too, and for you to help him blow out his candles.’ It was an olive branch, and I took it immediately. She accepted my silent apology, and I vowed to make it up to her. We’ve been like family since then. He is practically my kid.”

“And nothing ever happened between you two?” The wariness slowly faded from Enzo’s chiseled face.

I shook my head. “Never in a million years.”

“She’s pretty,” he pointed out.

“She is,” I agreed. “But all I see when I look at her is Matt.”

“Is this why you’re so closed off?” He balled the empty foil in his fist, slam-dunking it into the trash can. “Because you’re still in love with Matt?”

“I don’t want to ever feel like I fucked up someone’s life again. I’ve been keeping everything at surface level since Matt. Newly divorced women just looking for a good time, businessmen who live far away who only come here for work. It works for me.” Enzo was everything I didn’t do, everything I stayed away from, and yet everything I couldn’t turn my back on. “It was why I killed Cash. I know what’s on the line for people who don’t feel safe coming out. I know what’s at stake for you, Enzo. I’d never do that to you, or anyone else.”

“Clearly. Well, don’t worry about me wanting a relationship. I know better than to try to compete with a dead man,” Enzo said. Something about his sad eyes made me wonder if this was our last blowout, our last argument, our last encounter as…whatever the hell we were. “But I do think you should let that shit go. No one who loved you as much as he did would want you to hate yourself like that.”

We stared at each other for a long moment. An overwhelming need to kiss him took over me. I pushed it down. He wasn’t mine to kiss.

Enzo was the first to break eye contact. He hopped off his seat, sauntering to the fridge. “Another beer?”

“Better not.” I followed him with my eyes. I kept my alcohol consumption on a tight leash. One beer was a rare indulgence. Two usually ended in catastrophe. “Are we going to talk about the fact that you followed me?”

“No?” Enzo cracked open his second bottle of Peroni, flashing me an innocent grin.

I used it as an excuse to stand up and kiss his mouth to wipe that smirk off, biting his lower lip. “Spill it.”

“Ugh.” He rolled his eyes. “I may have bugged your sweatpants the other day.”

“May have?”

“Okay, definitely have, happy? I now know your address, license plate, and…all the other stuff.”

“That’s bad,” I said, clutching his waist and yanking hard, grinding my erection against his. But even as I said it, I still couldn’t muster the rage I was supposed to feel.

“Yeah, I know,” he said breathlessly, his girth thrusting into mine as I grappled him, clutching his ass. “Terrible.” Another thrust. “Awful, really.”

“I’m going to keep it as ammo for the next time you try to break us up.” I nibbled a path down his throat.

“Aww. Does this mean we’re together?” Enzo purred.

My mouth froze on his jawline. Oh, shit. I had so little experience with humor, I’d gotten myself into trouble by cracking an idiotic joke.

“We’re not.” I ripped my mouth from his skin, fingering an obsidian curl from his smooth forehead. “Even if I wasn’t majorly fucked-up because of Matt, this thing has no legs, Enzo. I’m a fed; you’re a criminal. These two factors will never change. You’re in the closet, and I couldn’t live with myself if you, too, had to face the consequences of the society you live in because of us. I do think you should come out on your own time, though,” I lamented. “It’s no life, erasing yourself to make others around you shine.”

The kid flashed me an amused smirk. “I appreciate the Harvey Milk speech, but, eh…” He trailed off, snorting. “I was joking.”

“Are you sure?” I asked, because I’d noticed his eyes were red when he first opened the door for me.

“Positive, man.” He waved me off. “Keep doing what you’re doing with your mouth, though. I like it.”

Groaning, I sank my teeth into his collarbone. He threw his head back, continuing to grind on me. My fingers worked around the useless fabric covering his magnificent body, my tongue exploring, swirling, tasting every inch of him I had access to.

“How’d you get the shiner?” I murmured over the V of his neck as I tugged his shirt off. Jesus. I was never going to get used to those perfect abs.

“You don’t really expect me to answer that question, do you?” He snorted, undoing my belt with one hand and seizing my pulsating cock in his fist. “How was that Mexican place? Looked good.” He ran a confident hand down my length, squeezing the crown and swiping the pearl of precum with his thumb.

“It was great.”

Too bad all I could do was think about your smart mouth and gorgeous ass.