Page 53 of Fallen Rook

I hung up, frowning at my phone.

I’d told her I wasn’t happy. Same as always.

But for the first time in eight years…

I wasn’t so sure anymore.

Chapter Seventeen

Enzo

Me: Do you think I should use an enema before our date on Monday? x

Tomcat: ??

Tomcat: You do realize this is not a normal way to start a conversation.

Tomcat: And it’s NOT a date.

Me: Just answer the question. It’s my first time, I have no one to ask, and the internet is divided and frankly a little hostile about the matter.

Tomcat: Enema is not necessary, especially for someone who’s hygienically aware, like you.

Me: I’ll do one, to be on the safe side.

Me: Also: aww <3.

Tomcat: Stop.

Me: I’m debating whether or not to shave down there, too, but if it grows out before Monday your dick’s going to get third-degree carpet burns.

Tomcat: I am at a loss for words.

Me: I think the ones you are looking for are, “You are gorgeous and endlessly sexy just the way you are. Let me take you out for dinner before our date to show you how much it means to me.”

Tomcat: I’m never taking you to dinner, and if you don’t stop messaging me, there’ll be no fucking, either.

Me: Chillax, I’m just messing with you. Can’t take a goddamn joke?

Me: Have you smiled today yet?

Tomcat: I will when you stop messaging me.

Me: Know what? I think I WILL shave my ass. You deserve the carpet burns.

Tomcat: No, I don’t think I smiled today.

Me: Open the next attachment.

I send an attachment.

Tomcat: I’m not opening anything before I get some reassurances.

Tomcat: Is it a dick pic?

Me: You think that’s all I’m capable of??

Tomcat: Yes.