Page 198 of Unmasked

To scream and cry.

I held to that as I brushed my teeth. When I finished, my eyes lifted to the mirror, immediately lowering at the dark shades of purple over half my face.

I forced my gaze back up through the sob. My shoulders drew back, and before I could stop myself, my hand settled over my stomach. The action was like a trigger.

Yes… Rage.

My fingers curled in, grabbing the white nightgown. The room tilted, and the screams grew. But not just in my head. I was letting them out. I was screaming at the top of my lungs. I grabbed everything I could throw. My hairbrush. The rack that held my skincare routine. I picked up the metal toothbrush holder rearing back. The dark marks covering my throat pulled at me like a beacon. My eyes followed them, moving up to my cheek. The busted blood vessels in my eye made half the white bright red.

I hated it. I hated this. Him—Lawrence.

He did this to me. Now I was stuck with the consequences. A repercussion I didn’t want. One I’d never forget nor forgive.

Hate.

Hate…

Hate!

I hurled the heavy toothbrush holder at the reflection of my face, letting the large sheet of glass shatter before me. Jagged pieces fell to the marble counter while smaller ones slid over the edge to my feet.

Louder, I screamed, and I couldn’t stop. I spun back for the room, pulling the blankets off the bed. I cleared the top of the dresser in one swipe, opening the drawers and tearing the clothes out in handfuls to throw. My cries continued with the destruction.

None of this would fix anything. I knew that. But if I had to hold one more thing in; if I didn’t release this devastation, it could possibly ruin me.

The hate would fester.

This need to detonate would grow.

I picked up a shoe, hurling it to the opposite end of the room. Next went my mini vanity’s chair. I was breathing so hard as my eyes searched for something else. Anything. Everything. All I found were more tears. I was running out of time. But what was time? What was anything anymore?

Round and round, I spun. I headed through the door adjoining the king and queen’s chamber, slowing as I looked around a room meant for me… but wasn’t always mine. It had been Vaughn’s mother’s. And his grandmother’s before that. The realization slowed me. Needing to cause damage was still there, but it faded as I took slow steps to the larger vanity.

As I approached and pulled out the seat, I almost became unhinged. My hand almost lurched forward to destroy the beautiful glass perfume bottles, but I resisted.

I lowered, staring at my battered appearance.

Yes, I was at a low. Maybe the lowest I would ever be, but I would rise. I knew that just as much as I knew I’d never let anyone close enough to hurt me again.

Picking up the brush, my hand shook as I began letting the bristles comb through my hair. My eyes closed, and I focused on the feel as the last of the sobs forced their way free. I let the slow strokes calm me. I opened my eyes, losing myself in the act.

I was trained to kill. To lead. It didn’t matter. I couldn’t be content with where I was now. It wasn’t good enough. I’d still been taken. Raped. Abused. I had still lost guards. No… I’d be stronger. I’d be smarter.

My chest tightened, and I saw nothing but my plans to protect me and those I loved. I let them devour me. Feed me. I hadn’t even seen Vaughn walk up until he was lowering behind me to wrap his arms around my waist. His lips pressed into my wet cheek, and he didn’t say a word. He walked to the closet, opening it. When I stood and joined him, he faced me, waiting.

I grabbed a pair of gray slacks and an ivory turtleneck. I took my time getting ready. I faded in and out of the black thoughts that still whispered death… but death would come. Tonight. I would relish in the new beginning. Because that’s what this was.

With Vaughn’s return as king, there had to be a sacrifice. My mind only told me what it could comprehend. Karma wasn’t kind. It wanted more than Lawrence Evans. It wanted part of me too, and it had carved those pieces out and taken them for its own. But the end was here, and I had survived it. That was what mattered.

“Is there any messages for me?”

I slid on my belt, fastening it and slipping on my flats. I could tell when I glanced up to Vaughn, he wasn’t happy with my question, but he nodded.

“Mr. Prescott called to check on you. I told him you’d call him back when you felt better. The Council also sent a message to officially meet with the both of us to go over a plan for stepping into the throne. I told them it’s going to take time, but we’d meet with them as soon as we’re able.”

Slowly my head nodded.

“Mrs. Whitlock called to check on how you were doing.”