Page 45 of Runaway Bride’s Husband

Daniel: I’m not mad at you.

Guilt wound through me like a living organism as I gripped the phone in my hand and stood up, suddenly longing for the privacy of my own car. I’d spent so much time thinking about what I wanted that I’d barely thought about what he might be going through. Daniel hadn’t asked for this either. He hadn’t chosen me and I doubt he’d had any more say in the wedding than I had, but I’d left him standing at an altar with half the country’s high society watching.

Back in my room, I tried typing a few replies, but none seemed good enough, so I deleted them all and eventually put the phone down on the bed. I turned back to the windows, watching the countryside roll by in a dark, rainy blur as the guilt consumed me.

It got even worse when Ryan popped his head in, laptop in hand, and gave me a crooked, almost sheepish smile. “It turns out I didn’t like the idea of you being alone on a strange train.”

“Come on in.” Touched by his thoughtfulness, I hid a smile behind my hair and thought about how much time I’d spent feeling alone. Most of my life actually. But with Ryan?

Huh. I never feel alone when he’s around.

Strangely, he was the only person I’d ever met who always made me feel like I belonged wherever I was with him.

It was such a refreshing thing to notice that for a second, I just stared at him. I’d always felt like the odd piece of the puzzle, but not when I was with him. He simply made space for me to be who I was without looking around to see whether I was embarrassing him or scolding me for not being perfectly put together all the time.

My guilt hadn’t disappeared, but with Ryan around, it suddenly felt a lot lighter. Like maybe I was allowed to exist for something other than making everyone else happy all the time.

CHAPTER 19

RYAN

Maggie and I went to get snacks, but as soon as she saw the train food available, I realized that maybe she never should’ve been allowed on public transportation after all. Her palate was a menace.

“How about a chicken sandwich?” I asked.

Her nose wrinkled. “Do you have any idea how sick old chicken can make you?”

“Sure, but these never have time to get old. They’re actually pretty good.”

She stared at the selection through the glass display case like she’d expected to have been presented with a Michelin-star tasting menu and instead was now unsure whether she’d survive. And yet somehow, even that seemed to make her excited.

“They have pizza?”

“Yep. Is that what you want?”

“No.” She sighed, but she was still smiling. “The salad looks a little wilted too.”

My eyes slid shut. “I thought you said you were hungry.”

“I said I was peckish, not hungry, but I’m not hungry or peckish for any of this.”

“Well, this is all there is.” I finally looked at her again before pointing at the chocolate bars behind the counter. “How about one of those?”

She blinked a couple times when she realized what I was pointing at. Then a slow, wide grin spread on her lips and she nodded. “You’re right. That’s perfect. I’ll have one of those, and a bag of chips, and a cheese croissant.”

“You got it.” I placed our order, getting the chicken sandwich, chips, and a soda for myself too, but when I turned back to her, Maggie was staring at a group gathered around one of the tables. They were laughing raucously, doing a pretty bad job of hiding the beers they’d snuck onto the train. I chuckled, remembering the days that had been me, and leaned closer to her. “Just don’t say anything. Don’t be that person.”

“I wasn’t going to,” she muttered, favoring me with an offended glare before taking off toward them and falling into small talk with one of the girls in the group like she’d known her forever.

Meanwhile, I collected our order and Maggie’s face lit up when the girl offered her a beer. She accepted it with enthusiasm, taking one for each of us and shoving them under her t-shirt as we made our way back to our seats.

I arched an eyebrow as I spread our snacks out across the little table in her room. “Don’t you think that’s taking the whole rebellious thing a little too far?”

“Nah. I’m all about new experiences these days.” She tucked her legs underneath her and sat down on the bed, leaning her shoulder against the window as she cracked open her drink. “I can’t believe I’ve missed out on all this stuff so far.”

“Well, at least you’re doing it now. That’s all that matters. A few more trips and you’ll be an old hand at this.” I closed my laptop and moved it to the other side of her bed before I sat down in the same chair I’d been in before. “Do you want your croissant?”

She waved me off. “Later. For now, I’m going to enjoy the very best hops this train has to offer.”