Page 50 of Trying Not to Need You

“Do I have to?” I ask, lifting my head, and my eyes meet Macklin’s across the room. His heated gaze has my breath hitching. I don’t need his words to know what he’s thinking. We had unprotected sex, nine days ago, and sure, it was only one time, but that’s all it takes, and this, this tiny human in my arms, could be our reality.

Just thinking about it makes my heart beat faster. I shouldn’t want that. I mean, it would be a nightmare, right? Getting pregnant so soon after a disastrous relationship, by my childhood crush, who also crushed on me, and now we’re not really dating, but seeing where things go?

That’s the definition of the “it’s complicated” social media status.

“Do you want to hold her?” I ask Macklin, his gaze still locked on mine.

“Whenever you’re ready,” he answers, but the way he’s looking at me, it’s as if he’s saying more. Not just whenever I’m ready for him to hold her, but… whenever I’m ready for a baby?

That sounds insane, right? That can’t be what he means, but his stare and the deep timbre of his voice sure as hell sound like it.

“I guess I have to share,” I say, trying to break out of the intensity of what I’m feeling.

Macklin slowly stands and moves to sit next to me on the small couch. Carefully, I transfer Lainey into his arms and watch as he smiles down at her. My heart is having a party inside my chest at the view.

“She weighs hardly anything,” he comments.

“Seven pounds, eight ounces, twenty inches long,” Copeland rattles off like the proud dad that he is.

“You look good holding a baby, McBride,” Copeland teases.

“When you’re ready,” Macklin whispers so only I can hear him, before clearing his throat. “Yeah,” he agrees. “I could handle a few of these running around the house.”

“Baylor always said she wanted at least three,” Ellison chimes in.

My head snaps to hers, and I give her a “shut up” look, but my sister is too blissed out and happy to heed my warning. Instead, she sticks her tongue out at me.

Macklin chuckles. “Three’s a good number.”

My eyes widen, and Ellison giggles, which pulls Macklin’s attention to her. “Sorry,” she says, holding up her hands. “Just really happy she’s here and healthy.”

“Congratulations,” Macklin tells her. “You did good, Ellie.”

“Hey! I helped,” Copeland says, already laughing.

“Maybe, but Ellie did all the work,” Macklin tells him.

“My wife is a rock star,” Copeland says, smiling down at her.

Ellison yawns, and I know she needs to rest. I’m dead on my feet, as well. “We should go so you can get some rest.” Bending, I place a kiss on Lainey’s forehead and stand, moving to my sister’s side of the bed. Leaning over, I hug her gently. “Love you, Ellie. Mom and Dad—” I start, but my voice cracks.

“Yeah” is all that she says, and there’s something in her voice I don’t recognize. I’m sure it’s nothing. We both need sleep.

Macklin hands Lainey to her daddy, and after another round of hugs from both of us, he takes my hand in his and leads me out to his truck.

“Shit. I rode here with Leighton.”

“That’s fine. You know I got you,” he says, opening the passenger door for me.

“I’m sorry. I know it’s late, or early, rather. I should have asked them to stay,” I say, as I climb up into his truck.

“Baylor.” He leans in close. “Don’t apologize. I’m with you. Always. Now, tell me, do you want me to take you to my place or yours?”

“Yours.” I don’t even hesitate. Not because I want something more to happen between us, but because the thought of going home and sleeping in my bed alone, when his is an option, makes the decision easy.

Macklin gives me a tired smile and presses a soft peck to my lips before closing the door and moving around the front of the truck to the driver’s side.

The drive to his place is quiet. By the time we’re walking into his house, the sun is starting to rise, and I’m thankful we have staff at the inn to keep things moving, because I need a few hours of sleep in order to be able to function today.