Page 80 of The Dueling Duchess

“Because I didn’t read it!”

“Well, you should have, Cecile. If you had, you would have known that I regretted what I said in Calais.”

“And is that all that letter and the others you sent said?”

His composure cracked, and he thrust a hand through his hair and looked down at the stage floor. “No, the letters contained more than just an apology.”

“What did they say?”

“It doesn’t matter now.”

She gave a bitter bark of laughter. “You still wanted to make me complicit in your infidelity, didn’t you?”

“It’s not what you think.” The words sounded as if they’d been squeezed from his chest.

“What do you mean?”

“The two of us—Helena and I—made a—a bargain, a pact, for lack of a better word.”

“Helena?”

“The woman I was betrothed to—Helena Carter.”

“What kind of bargain?”

“She is in love with a clerk who works for her father, but he would never permit the match. Instead, he threatened to punish the man if she pursued what she wanted. Carter said he’d sack the clerk and ruin his chances for employment. He threatened her with disinheritance if she fought him. So, Helena came to me and confided the truth. She told me she could not marry me in good conscience without telling me that she wanted another. I—I told her I felt the same. About you.” He paused, staring at her, his flush darkening the longer she stared. “I know what you are thinking, Cecile—”

“I doubt it.”

“All right, all right,” he conceded. “I probably don’t know the whole of what—”

“The two of you decided you would marry and then carry on separate lives.”

He nodded.

“What did her lover think of this plan?”

Guy’s gaze flickered away. “Er, Helena said he wasn’t exactly happy about the idea, but—”

“Imagine that! Because I don’t care for it, either.”

“Yes, I know, Cecile—neither did I. Neither did Helena. But sometimes in the adult world we live in, we can’t have everything we want.”

She poked him in the chest with a finger. Hard.

“Ow!”

She poked him again and opened her mouth.

“What?” he asked when she didn’t speak.

She inhaled deeply and then said in a rush, “Don’t you ever tell me about the adult world and what we are forced to do. I know plenty about being forced into things.”

Cecile instantly wished she could take the words back but the determined expression that settled on his normally happy face told her there was no chance of it.

Guy caught her hand when she dropped it, holding her gently but firmly. “What do you mean? What were you forced to do?”

“Nothing. It is none of your business.”