Page 24 of The Doctor

I choked back a sob and forced the fakest smile I’d ever worn to my lips. “Ready and willing.”

I couldn’t stop the lie.

On shaky legs, I followed Zee out to his car. I nearly cried again when he opened the passenger side door for me to get in. Gratefully, I climbed into my seat, trying to still my hands by clasping my fingers together and squeezing tight.

“Seatbelt on,” Zee reminded me after he’d started the car.

“Right. I knew that.” I scrambled to clip the seatbelt in place, but even at that simple task, I failed. I’d pulled too hard, and the belt locked up, not once, not twice, but four separate times. By the time I got it near the damn clip, I was so frustrated I almost said to hell with it and raced back into the house.

Zeno’s hands on mine were the only things stopping me from doing so.

“Hey, hey.” His voice was a soothing balm that covered every inch of my body. “It’s okay, kid. I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you.”

I couldn’t stop the tremor in my words. “What if I can’t do it?”

Zee took the seatbelt from my grip, fastening it before he hooked a finger under my chin and pulled my face toward his. “What if you can?” His question had me reaching for my collarbone, my nails ready to dig into my skin. It was only his blue eyes locked on mine, the closeness of his lips, that stopped me from drawing blood.

Five times, I tapped my collarbone.

For five beats, I forced myself to draw in a deep breath.

For five long moments, I allowed myself to dream.

What if?

What if I could?

Zee accepted my half-assed nod. He removed his hand from my chin, shifted his body away from mine. Then he was out on the road, my anxiety forgotten as he pulled into traffic.

“Where are we going?” I asked after we’d been driving for far too long.

Not that I was complaining.

It’s not like I really wanted this, to be forced into the driver's seat of a machine heavy enough to crush me flatter than a pancake.

“Paulo’s.” He didn’t react when I sucked in a sharp breath. “If we’re going to do this, we’re going to do it right. I’m going to get you behind the wheel in a place that’s soothing and comfortable, where you can learn to drive without any traffic or pedestrians around.”

“I don’t want to go to Paulo’s.” What if he saw me? What if he had others there? They’d know how pathetic I was, they’d see me at my absolute worst.

First, no pills.

Now, this?

“If you want me to teach you, you’re going to do it my way.”

“Zee—”

He yanked my hand away from my breasts and the sharp red line my nail had left there. “I mean it, kid.”

I wanted to bury my head in the sand. Drive up into the mountains, and maybe drive off a cliff. Only Zee’s fingers strung between mine helped calm my nerves and tether me to my chair.

Did I do that? Or did he?

He wouldn’t look at me as he drove. He just sat there, holding my hand as he tapped his thumb against the steering wheel to the beat of the drums in the symphony playing over his satellite radio.

I tried to let the music and his presence calm me, resting my head against the back of my seat as we drove out of the city and into the bright green country that housed Paulo D’Angelo’s estate.

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