Page 42 of The Saint

“I was lonely.” She turned away, wrapped her arms around her legs. “It’s been years, Rolly. I ruined what we had, and I didn’t know if I’d ever get it back. Stuck out on that farm, so far from home, I didn’t have anyone. And he was there. No attachments, that’s what I told him. I didn’t…”

She buried her face in her palms, then scrubbed them across her cheeks before turning my way.

“I don’t feel anything for him. I never did. It was only ever physical. And when I came home and saw you, everything I did felt wrong.”

Wrong.

Like a sickness growing in your gut that you couldn’t get rid of.

My pinky snagged hers on the floor between us. “I know.”

She blinked. Furrowed her brow. Eyes went wide before turning her head. She didn’t move a muscle. Didn’t pull away, didn’t grip my hand. Just sat there, steaming in the horrible truth we shared.

“Have there been many?” Her voice was barely a whisper, blown my way on the breeze.

“One.” Her hand flinched. “We decided we were better off as friends.”

“Why?” The question was full of every single one of her insecurities. Full of all of her fears.

And Lord, if it didn’t make something inside me tremble. I wanted to scoop her into my arms, hold her close, and let her know I’d protect her with every piece of me.

Instead, I lifted her hand to my heart, pressing it close.

“Because of you. Because I was waiting for you to come home to me. To tell me it was over once and for all. I couldn’t let go of you. Couldn’t make my heart stop loving you. And until you tell me you don’t want me, I’m never going to stop wanting you.”

“Rolly.” She pressed her free hand to her mouth. When I gave her a tug, she leaned my way, letting me wrap her in the security of my arms.

I couldn’t help but feel this was exactly where she belonged.

11

ROLLY

“You sure this is okay?” Jael’s hand clenched mine between the seats of the car where we sat outside my storage unit in Jersey. The gloomy clouds that rolled in overhead this afternoon had turned dark, and a skittering of nerves bubbled just under her skin.

Her gaze, darkened both by her childhood fear and the dying light, turned from the window to me. With a stiff nod and a tight smile, she said, “I’ll be fine.”

“We’ll hurry.” With her hand still clasped in mine, I lifted her knuckles to my lips. “I got you.”

Relief bloomed across her face, her shoulders easing downward. It was nothing but a whisper when she said, “Thank you.”

When I squeezed her fingers, she finally let go. I climbed from the car, grabbing the keys from my pocket so I could unlock the door. She was right there beside me, as if unable to handle being on her own with a potential storm coming in.

Racing back to the car, I pulled it inside the storage unit, turned it off, then returned to her side with our bags.

“You ready?”

She didn’t turn from the unit, even as I reached overhead to grab the door. Her brow furrowed, lips set in a thin line as she scanned inside the room.

“Why here?” She looked up at me then, and I dropped my hand from the door and gave a shrug.

“I needed space and this place had it.”

Her lips pinched, her eyes narrowed.

“All the way over here? Off the island, with all this extra space, and, if I’m seeing this right, climate controlled? For your car?”

I raked a hand over my jaw, and Jael turned to the car in question. Crossed the four feet of space between the outside and the trunk. She hopped up onto the back end, and the anxiety that’d sat beneath her skin was missing. Eyes narrowed, she stared until I spoke.