Page 26 of The Saint

“Will do,” I promised as he walked out the door. I adjusted the ice pack I had held to my shoulder, then shut the door behind him and turned back to Jael’s apartment.

She sat on her sofa, feet tucked under her, making her look so small. Her fingers played with the short hairs on the right side of her head while she stared out the bank of windows looking out on the city below.

That cage around my heart shuddered.

For a moment, all I could do was stare.

She’d always been my muse. The one I turned to for inspiration and imagined guiding me through each and every stroke. It was hard, seeing her before me again and not getting lost in the feelings she’d always stirred.

I wanted to sketch her. To paint her. To capture the vulnerability that hid behind all of her strength. Put it on paper and make it known.

Show the world the beauty I’d always seen.

Forgiven, but not forgotten, I reminded myself. Then I stepped into the room.

Jael looked up at me with those mossy green eyes, a smile tugging at one corner of her lips. But that smile turned to a grimace as she pulled her gaze down to where my hand secured the ice pack to my shoulder.

“I’m sorry if I got you in trouble.”

“It’s fine,” I told her.

“But are you?”

There she went again, acting like she cared.

Zee had reamed me a new one when he found out I’d carried Jael here from the park. With the pain in my shoulder, it was impossible to hide.

Jael was fine. She’d tweaked her ankle and should be back to running in a couple of days.

But me?

I was lucky Zeno didn’t put another bullet in my chest.

“I will be,” I told her after a beat. “I just need to rest.”

Her lips flattened into a straight line, and she looked away. I knew that look. She had something to say.

“What is it?”

“It’s nothing—”

“Don’t lie to me, David.”

She winced, as if that name caused her pain, and I wanted to soothe it away.

Without looking at me, she said, “You shouldn’t keep putting others before yourself. Some of us aren’t worth it.”

“You’d rather I left you out there in the storm?” She shivered in her seat, watching the last of the clouds roll by out the window. “Or is it someone else I should be leaving alone?”

That got her attention. Her gaze zipped to mine. “That’s not what I meant.” She shifted in her seat, slinging her arm over the back of the couch. “I know now why you left. Both times. I know what happened to Natalia and her family. I would never wish that on anyone, Rolly. I hope you know that.”

I’d never taken Jael for a vindictive person. But even forgiveness couldn’t stop me from questioning everything I thought I knew.

“Rolly.” Jael scooted across the couch, closer to me. “Why didn’t you talk to me? Why didn’t you tell me what happened? Do you really think I would have had a problem with you going to help her if I knew why you had to go?”

This time, it was my turn to look away. “It wasn’t my story to tell. The Medinas went through hell. Natalia didn’t want people to know. And I…”

“You what?” she asked with uncharacteristic gentleness.