Page 86 of Fundamentals of Chemistry

Days stretched into a week. And then two. And then three. I tried to ignore time marching toward Thanksgiving break and finals and the inevitable end of the perfect little world that I had stumbled into.

I grew used to waking up in Jack’s bed, in a tangle of arms, legs, and blankets, my head tucked into the curve of his shoulder. This morning, he kissed me sweetly, and I wished him good morning before slipping out of his sheets and sneaking back into my own apartment to shower and get ready for the day.

I smiled at him when I saw him in the cafeteria chatting with Alan over a cup of coffee. It felt wrong to take my tray over to sit with Ashley. A not-so-little part of me longed for the weekend when I could pull on one of his college chemistry tee shirts and sip my coffee next to him on the sofa rather than sneaking away.

“So,” Ashley said, pulling my attention to her. “Has Richmond given you any indication of whether or not you’ll be staying on a permanent basis?”

I chewed on a bite of eggs, buying myself a little time to formulate a response.

“Well… I haven’t talked to him much since midterms. At the time, he was happy that my classes were improving.”

“That’s something.” Ashley looked encouraged.

I shrugged. “Something, yes, but probably not enough.”

“What do you mean?”

I picked up my coffee cup then set it back down without drinking. “It’s not really about how well I’m doing, is it? It’s about how I’m doing compared to Jack.”

Ashley nodded as she chewed her bite of bagel. “I see. And how is he doing?”

I couldn’t contain my smile when I talked about him. “He’s a rockstar. Has been from the beginning. His lessons are fresh and innovative. The students love him. And the exam scores reflect all of that.”

Ashley set down her bagel and raised an eyebrow. “He can’t be that good.”

I leaned forward and lowered my voice. I didn’t need students at the surrounding tables overhearing a conversation about grades. “His sections scored a standard deviation higher than mine on the midterm and two standard deviations higher on the first exam.”

“Rockstar,” Ashley muttered, then shrugged and picked up her bagel. “I still think you would be a better addition to the faculty. Women are grossly under-represented at this school, and we need to seize opportunities when they present themselves. I’m sure Richmond wouldn’t have brought you here if he didn’t think you were qualified.”

My eyes rolled. Ashley was incorrigible. “I’m sure I’m qualified. I love chemistry, and I’m getting better at teaching every day. But I’m not too proud to admit that Jack is…” I scanned the room, and my heart fluttered when my eyes landed on him. “Objectively better.”

Ashley scoffed and set down her bagel with a thump. “Do you want me to talk to Richmond? I can say something on your behalf—”

“That’s not necessary, Ashley—”

“But surely, if I—”

Her mouth snapped closed when I placed my hand over hers. “I really appreciate the offer—and your support. I’m sure that whatever Richmond decides, it will be what’s best for the school.”

I wasn’t surprised to realize that I believed that. Despite the fact that I wanted this job more than I had ever wanted anything, I wanted to come by it honestly. I only wanted to stay here if I were the best candidate. And unfortunately for me, there was more than a little evidence that I wasn’t.

It was bittersweet, thinking about leaving so quickly after I arrived, but I had to be pragmatic. Over the last few weeks, I had brushed up my resume and applied for a few teaching positions in the surrounding towns as well as back in the city. It wasn’t ideal, but if I had learned anything it was that I had to flex and adapt whenever an obstacle popped up in my path.

It was just a bummer that this path would likely take me back to New York. I liked the city—that wasn’t the problem. And Silvia was there, which was a huge plus—as good as things were here, I still missed her. But the prospect of leaving Newbury stung. And the idea of cutting things off with Jack was agonizing. We had only been together for a couple of weeks, but we had already slipped into a routine that redefined perfect.

It wasn’t just the sex—though the sex was unmatched—it was the other things. I liked waking up in his arms and feeling his lips press against my temple before I even opened my eyes.

I liked the butterflies in my stomach when the bell would ring at the end of first period and he would come striding into the room with a coffee for me. Every muscle in my body would tense with the desire to kiss him in thanks, but that was never possible with all the students coming and going around us.

I liked the heated glances across the cafeteria when we would catch each other’s eye. More than once I had excused myself from a meal early and snuck into an empty classroom. Invariably, he would find me moments later, my skin tightening to goosebumps when I felt him join me in the dark.

“I can’t see you,” he said.

“I guess you’ll have to use another sense,” I purred.

He followed my voice to where I waited in the back of the room. “Like smell?”

“Not smell!” I laughed, when he slipped his arms around my waist.