Page 27 of Fundamentals of Chemistry

“They’re his sections. He can teach them however he wants,” I said with more confidence than I felt.

Just then my phone buzzed with an incoming call. It was Silvia. I could have cried with relief.

“I need to take this,” I said to TJ, holding up my ringing phone. “Thanks for the copies!”

TJ waved me away with a smile, and I hustled outside, clicking the green accept button. Silvia’s voice rang through the earpiece the second the call connected.

“Tell. Me. Everything,” she demanded. “No detail is too small.”

“It’s stupid,” I started, picking a path at random. All of the students and most of the faculty were still in class, so the grounds were deserted. “There weren’t any whiteboard markers in my classroom this morning.”

“Again?” Silvia shrieked. “Two days in a row?”

“Yep,” I confirmed, popping the p.

“Let me get this straight,” she said. “You accidentally leave him with a shitty marker one time—”

“Accidentally,” I agreed.

“And then you immediately apologized—”

“Right—”

“And then he, not once, but twice—two days in a row!—steals all of the markers at the end of the day so that you don’t have any left in the morning.”

“That about sums it up,” I said with a grimace.

“Petty man-child,” she muttered.

Vindication swelled in my chest at her acknowledgment, and my irritation over the whole situation eased. “Seriously, though! Where does he get off?”

“Probably in the shower,” Silvia replied, without missing a beat.

I stifled a laugh. “Ew! Don’t joke about Cooper… masturbating,” I squeaked. Though, now that the thought was in my head, I could easily picture him stroking himself while water cascaded down his body and steam billowed around him. I would have to bleach my brain before I would be able to look at him tomorrow.

“So, how are you going to get him back?” Silvia asked. I could practically see the mischievous look in her eye through the phone.

“I can’t do that,” I snickered.

“Why not? If he wants to play stupid games, let him have some stupid prizes.”

It was bad advice. Horrible, really. But also… the woman did have some kind of a point—first, the crazy lesson plan, and next, the markers. Cooper was playing games, and I was getting fed up. I hated to sink to his level, but it was getting more tempting by the hour.

“I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about revenge,” I said, “but it’s too risky. I don’t want to get in trouble.”

Her tone became dismissive. “Don’t break any rules. Just do some harmless shit to get under his skin. Let’s see… he hid the markers, so maybe you could hide something of his? Or better yet—do the opposite!”

I snorted. “You want me to what—show him his markers?”

“No, no, no,” she said. “I mean leave a whole bunch of shit all over the desk for him to deal with. Weird shit—like a box of tampons. Or voodoo doll with dark hair and washboard abs. Get creative.”

I was laughing in earnest now, deep belly laughs shaking my body and scaring nearby birds. Everyone on campus was perfectly nice, but I missed the easy, casual, and judgment-free conversations with my best friend.

“Where might one procure a voodoo doll?” I asked once my laughter was back under control.

“You can find literally anything on the internet. Here—let me send you some links.”

Chapter 9