Page 48 of Protecting Salvation

“Okay.” Lotus stood and knocked a knuckle on the table. “I’ll call you later with an update.”

“Thanks.”

He watched her leave and thought about what she’d said. He was keeping shit from Peyton but not because he didn’t trust her but because he didn’t want to pile more shit onto her plate. It was also a tiny bit because his options terrified him and he didn’t want to face them. At this point, he’d be blind within the year if Dr Decker didn’t operate. But without blood for a transfusion if he needed it, there was the very real risk of him dying. It was like walking around with an ever-tightening noose around his neck and time wasn’t his friend.

Paying for the coffee he decided that was for another day and headed over to see Peyton. He passed a timid-looking woman on his way in and she kept her head down so he gave her space. His size wasn’t always an asset.

She was typing up her notes when he tapped on the door. “Hey, ready to grab some lunch?”

“Yep. Let me just save these notes and then I’m all yours.”

He liked hearing that. He wanted her to be all his. She made every day better and he was happier than he’d ever been. Did he have a right to drag her into a future that was so uncertain? He didn’t know but he also knew that avoiding it was unfair.

“I’ll wait downstairs. I have to make a call.”

Her smile lit him up from inside as she looked up. “Okay.”

Walking down the narrow stairs he stepped out, his breathing coming fast as a wave of dizziness struck him. Reaching out he braced his hand on the wall of the short alleyway and dragged in air. Pain lanced through his head and he fought the urge to throw up. He sucked in oxygen and waited for it to pass. They never lasted long but it was almost daily now which meant it was soon going to be impossible to hide how bad things were getting.

Dragging his phone out he dialled Dr Decker and waited.

“Hello?”

“I need to see you.”

“When can you come in?”

“Monday?”

“Ten am?”

“Sure.”

“You’re doing the right thing, Warren.”

“I haven’t made a decision yet.”

“We can discuss options though and that’s a start.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

He hung up and immediately felt like a piece of shit for being so short with her. He’d been told the tumour could affect his personality and cause a short temper but this wasn’t the tumour, this was him being an ass and he knew it. He just needed to be a fucking grown-up and face this head-on.