Page 22 of Palace of Betrayal

“Close your eyes, Bebe.”

His command had her doing as he asked, the tone of his voice deeper, lower, and more intense than she could hope to ignore.

Bebe sighed. “Fine, they’re closed. Happy now?”

His chuckle had her turning to her back, the sound soaking over her skin and the frustrated ache of her interrupted ‘me time’ earlier, making her tense.

“Not even close.”

More silence but this time it was punctuated with the sounds of their breathing, heavy with unspoken secrets.

“I’m sorry I pushed you earlier. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Bebe hated that he thought it was his fault, and the need to give him something to explain her behaviour had her unexpectedly opening up to him. Bebe drew in a shaky breath. “I was a saviour baby. My parents had me specifically to save my sister. When she died anyway, they blamed me. I’d had one purpose. To save her and I failed. She died and they were left with a child they never really wanted.”

“That’s horrendous.”

The darkness made it easier for her to elaborate. “Nina was their world. The sun rose and fell with her. Don’t get me wrong, while she was alive they were never hurtful or abusive. I was just there. My father was a revered cardiac surgeon in Pakistan, and he felt my failure was a slight on him as a doctor. They never had the time or the energy to give me more than the basics, even before she died. My life was a round of hospital appointments, blood tests, procedures, all geared toward saving her life and I didn’t mind. I loved my sister so much.”

Her throat clogged and she felt like she was choking, the grief and guilt she tried to keep buried rising to the surface. “When Nina died, I was just finishing school. I’d thrown everything into my grades, trying to be the best so my parents would love me. The day she died was the worst of my life. Nina loved me for me, not for what I was meant to do or not do. The truth is, I think she was tired of fighting and she hated how I was made to feel. Not that I told her or let on, but Nina was astute, and she saw me as a person, a real human being and she loved me. She told me she was ready to go.”

Tears clogged her throat and she flinched as the bed dipped and Leo slipped in beside her, hauling her body close and holding her safe from the memories that shredded her every time she allowed them out.

Settling back against his chest, his breath feathered her hair and she held onto the arms holding her. One at her waist, the other across her chest and she felt as if nothing could hurt her now.

“My parents shouted and screamed at first. Telling me how I was useless, that I had killed Nina. How they wished it had been me and that I was their biggest regret, and I could handle that. I knew it already and I blamed myself. I should have done more, eaten healthier, not snuck that extra cake or portion of chips. After the initial loss though, they just shut down and ignored me as if I didn’t exist. They were so lost in their own pain they’d go days, sometimes even weeks, without speaking to me.”

His lips on her hair only made her tears fall harder. She didn’t deserve his sympathy. She was a killer and her first victim had been her sister. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”

“Because you suffered something nobody should ever have to go through. You were a child. You deserved love for merely existing. Instead, you were made to feel like a spare part.”

“I killed her. I should have saved her. It was my job.”

“And that’s why it’s so important to you that you never fail another job, isn’t it?”

His insight tore a sob from her chest, and she wondered if it was the hormones left over from her last failed IVF. Bebe had never discussed her sister with anyone. Not even her friends knew. Only Roz knew the truth and that was because it was essential, and part of the agreement they all had with her was that they’d always be truthful with her.

When Roz found her blind drunk on the anniversary of Nina’s death not long after she’d recruited her to Zenobi, it had all come out. The ugly truth about her failure. Roz had forced her into therapy and the conscious part of her knew she was an innocent child, but the other part hated herself for what she hadn’t done. “Yes. I can’t fail another person.”

“You didn’t fail your sister. Your parents failed you. They should be whipped for ever making you feel like it was your fault.”

His words made her cry harder, and she couldn’t seem to stop. Leo just held her tighter, this man she hardly knew giving her comfort. In some ways she felt closer to him than she had anyone in a long time.

“Do you ever see your parents now?”

Bebe shook her head. “Not since the day I left. They still live in Pakistan in the house I grew up in. They set up a foundation in Nina’s name and every year I donate to it, anonymously.”

She could feel the anger on her behalf radiating off him, but he said nothing except, “Sleep, Bebe, I won’t leave you.”

As her sobs ebbed and the grief left her body, she felt sleep pulling her under and was relieved not to be alone.

Nine

Leo lifted his head to see the woman who’d exposed her heart to him sleeping soundly. Slowly, he eased out of the bed where he’d spent the night cuddled up to her, his body perfectly moulded around her. Pulling on a t-shirt, he took one last glance at the sleeping beauty as the dawn eased over the hills in the distance. She looked like an angel; her lips slightly parted, long lashes feathered over her cheeks. Her glorious hair spread over the pillow, a hand beside her face.

Her walls were down, as they’d been last night, but he knew she’d resurrect them this morning and go back to the operator she was. Last night had been a blip, a hiccup, and even only having known her for a short time, he knew she’d hate that she’d shown him her weakness.

Quietly he closed the bedroom door and went to the door of his apartment where he’d asked Hans to leave his coffee and food. Lifting the silver tray, he took it to the balcony where he could watch the sunrise and drink his morning brew. The peace at this time of day soothed his soul and had him thinking about last night and the revelations.