Page 76 of Stolen Salvation

Charlie grinned despite the situation watching the women tense up as if they were going to war. “I told him to leave, and he left.”

“That’s good right?” Lotus asked looking to the other two women for help.

“No.”

“No.”

“I guess.”

Snow and Savannah grinned as they shouted no and looked to her for her I guess.

Snow approached the bed and took her hand forcing Charlie to look at her. “You wanted him to stay and fight for you?”

“That’s awful of me, right? I shot him and divorced him. Now we’re expecting another child together and I send him away saying I don’t know what I want.” Charlie buried her head in her hands. “I’m such a bitch.”

“A bit, yeah,” Lotus agreed, and Charlie grinned when Snow glared at her.

“Lotus.”

“What?” Lotus threw up her hands. “Bishop loves her, it’s clear as the smell of antiseptic in this room. If he could run ahead of her every step and throw rose petals before her feet he would. What more can he do?”

“That may be so, but Charlie is dealing with her own guilt and feeling unworthy.”

Charlie pointed at Snow. “Yes! I don’t feel worthy of him. He is such a good man, so loving and caring, and when I was pregnant he was so protective and attentive and he still gave me multiple orgasms, even when I was the size of a whale.”

“Word.” Lotus held her hand up for a high five, which Charlie obliged.

“Of course you’re worthy. You, my friend, are a badass. The only person who doesn’t see that is you.”

Charlie appreciated Lotus’ words. But after being rejected by her mother and treated as nothing more than a child allowance cheque that allowed her to buy more booze, and having a father who thought of her as an afterthought but treated his new family like the moon and the stars, it was a hard mindset to let go of.

“My mother was an alcoholic and looking back on it, she probably had multiple mental health diagnoses that were untreated. She’d be okay for a bit and then she’d get real down and go on a bender for weeks, sometimes months. Then she’d promise she was getting better, and it would be okay and then it wasn’t. It got so the bad times were more and more until every day was a bad day.”

“I’m sorry. That’s tough to deal with. What did you do?”

Charlie drew in a long breath. “I hid it all from social services because she told me I owed her. It was my fault my father didn’t want us because I was naughty.”

Savannah pursed her lips. “How old were you?”

“Around eight. I was a kid so I believed her. My dad wasn’t any better. He always made me feel like he didn’t want me around in case I infected his new life with my badness.”

Snow looked angry. “What a dick.”

“Yeah, Noah hates his guts.”

“I’m not surprised.”

“When my mum died I was almost relieved, but I was an adult, so I joined the army and found a place there. I was good at it, so good I was recruited by MI5. Then I met Noah and, well, you know the rest.”

Savannah stepped forward. “Have you ever had therapy?”

Charlie shook her head. “Not really. A little in the hospital when we lost Freddie, but I wasn’t up for it. I just wanted it all to go away.”

“I think you need some. Noah too. I see a lot of love between you but if you really want this to work, you need to put the past to bed for good.”

Charlie dropped her eyes to her hands which were scrunching the bed sheet up before she smoothed it away. “I think you might be right.”

Savannah nodded. “Do you know Peyton Lawson?”