Page 71 of Stolen Salvation

Andrea looked down at her hands as she sat back in the chair. “I, um, lost the baby.”

“Oh, Andrea, I’m so sorry.”

“Is it awful that I felt relieved?”

“No, of course not. It was a big decision and held a lot of extra consideration with who the father was. Anyone would’ve been overwhelmed and having that choice taken away would be a relief in some ways.”

“I just feel like I’m glad my baby died and that’s not it. I just… I don’t know how to feel.”

“You feel however you want to and don’t let anyone tell you what that is. You went through a huge trauma, and it will take a while and talking to an expert for you to come through this.”

“That’s what Lotus said.”

A memory of Lotus handing her a buttered crumpet flew threw her mind and nausea raced up her throat. “She did?”

Her voice was weak as she forced the words out while trying to deal with the memories that were now flooding her brain like an avalanche. Snow and Lotus with Duchess, her eating a crumpet, nausea, sickness, a pregnancy test, and then the two pink lines. Noah, striding toward her with a smile on his handsome face. A look of love passed from him to her as he told her wanted a future with her again. Her son, his perfect face so sweet, so innocent, and Andrea and Noah, looking at her as a man raised his gun and then pain. So much pain tearing through her as Noah cried out for her, but she couldn’t reach him. Her words stuck inside her head as he begged her to live.

“Charlie? Charlie? Baby, are you okay?”

Words came at her from a distance suddenly penetrating the cloud of memories. The room was now empty apart from her and Noah. His worried, beloved face was close as she glanced at him and knew she had to ask a question she wasn’t sure she’d survive the answer to. “Our baby?” Her voice clogged with emotion, she held on as he wrapped her in his embrace. She wanted time to stand still so she could have that hope without having to deal with the fear she’d felt when she saw the positive test.

“Everything is fine. Savannah has checked twice, and our baby looks to be just fine.”

Relief almost crushed her as she physically sagged in his arms and cried.

“It’s okay, baby. I’m here and I’m not leaving you.”

She cried harder at his words because she wasn’t sure she could do it again. Risk the heartbreak of carrying their child who she loved already and things going wrong again. She wasn’t strong enough, and worse, what if she hurt Noah again? What if she was broken and she couldn’t carry a child? Yet this tiny child had survived being shot, had come to life through love, even if at the time it hadn’t seemed that way. She was pinned between hope and terror and didn’t know which way to turn.

Chapter 24

Bishop had thought seeing her unconscious and fighting for life was bad enough but the sheer terror in her eyes almost slayed him. Gripping her hand, he smoothed his thumb over her knuckles trying to calm her frayed nerves or maybe it was the pounding in his own heart he was trying to steady. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s going through that pretty head of yours.”

Charlie shook her head and he wanted to push but he had to remember she was only a few hours out of her coma and dealing with a lot. He had to rein in his own needs right now and let her lead her recovery.

Instead, he got up on the bed, knowing it would earn him a telling off from Natalie, the nurse who’d undertaken most of Charlie’s care. Wrapping her in his arms, he held her while she cried quietly until she fell asleep.

He stayed that way, just holding her and wanting desperately to race to the end of their story and see how it ended for them and knowing wishes like that served no purpose.

The door squeaked open, and Savannah Decker poked her head inside. “Everything okay?”

He beckoned her inside and she glanced at the monitors, cataloguing every number until she was satisfied before taking the seat he’d vacated.

“She remembered the baby.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, she freaked out. I didn’t know what to do so I just held her until she fell asleep.”

Savannah nodded. “That was the best thing to do. Her brain won’t be processing as quickly right now and what might have taken a short time might take longer as the pathways aren’t as straight as they were. They’ll get there but healing is never quick.”

Bishop swallowed and concentrated on the steady beat of her heart against his chest. She was there, she was alive, and they could get through anything else. “I hate this for her.”

“I take it this wasn’t planned.” Savannah sat with her hands in a prayer position between her knees, waiting patiently, and he could see why she was the world-renowned surgeon she was. She had a gentleness about her that was tempered with a sharp mind.

Bishop snorted. “No, most definitely not. Charlie and I are divorced. We had a pretty messy break-up, but the cracks started when we lost our son. He was born at twenty-seven weeks and didn’t make it.”

“That’s a huge strain on a relationship. I’m so sorry.”