Page 10 of Guarding Salvation

“Pretty sure you’re not meant to go into marriage thinking about divorce.”

“Good job I ain’t getting hitched then.”

“True.”

“You gonna take over your dad’s title now?”

Bein shook his head, “No, Shadow is my life. Lana runs the estate with her husband perfectly well without me.”

“You know Jack would give you your life back if you wanted it, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I know that, but I’m not that person anymore. Lana loves the life and the estate and so do her kids. I’m happy to keep the title and if my sons ever want it, they can have it or not, but it’s hers to run and live in for her lifetime.”

It’s the least I can do for her after the way I failed her.

“Kids? Fuck, you knocked someone up?”

“God no. But maybe one day, never say never.” He glanced at Bás. “You want kids and a family?”

Bás shook his head. “Nah, not for me. I’d be a shit father. I’m too selfish.”

Bein lifted his chin in response because he didn’t necessarily agree but who was he to tell him that. He couldn’t even manage his own love life let alone have an opinion on someone else’s life. If he was honest, he wasn’t sure kids were in his future either. He never wanted to feel the kind of grief losing his friends had evoked in him again, and the thought of a daughter of his going through what Lana had made him want to kill, to drag Ray Walsh from the grave so he could kill the fucker all over again. Perhaps he’d leave kids and family to his sister. She was more than filling the family quota for offspring.

They walked toward the living quarters, which was quiet at this time of day, the team either out on a mission or beginning to chill for the evening. They kept odd hours. It definitely wasn’t a nine to five job, and he knew they’d all go stir crazy in an environment like that.

“I’m gonna catch up on Walking Dead and drown myself in expensive whisky and frozen pizza.”

“Sounds like a winning combination.”

He kept walking when Bás stepped into his room which was opposite his own quarters. The living part of the compound was set out in a U shape, with a common room at the end where they could hang out together if they wanted. No expense or thought had been spared on this place. Jack had wanted the team who lived and worked here to be comfortable and happy and live as normal a life as he could make happen.

He loved it for the most part, but tonight he was twitchy and couldn’t settle, and he knew the exact reason why. She was petite and sexy with a fake name and lyrical seductive laugh. Despite his pep talk with himself last night about not needing the hassle, he couldn’t stop himself from throwing his jacket back on and heading to the pub.

He was acting totally out of character, he didn’t fawn over women, he never had. Bein had always been easy come, easy go, no feelings or emotions, just some hot sex and then he kissed them as he walked out the door. Relationships led to commitment, and he couldn’t give anyone that, not with his job and more importantly he didn’t want to, either. Yet the second he’d laid eyes on Irish, something had happened, a spark, a feeling of knowing she would change everything, that she needed him.

He shook his head at the rambling thoughts that were so unlike him. He was happy to play the joker and was loyal to his friends, but he didn’t need anyone else in his life to make him vulnerable. He had enough with his sister breeding over and over and making such adorable kids he couldn’t help but love. The last thing he needed was a damsel in distress to save. Yet, something told him deep down the motion was already in play and he was a bystander with no control and that was unacceptable.

Scanning the lane as he walked from the rescue centre to the pub, he spied the house that Shadow used as a cover. Once a week, one or two of them would stay there to make it look like they either lived there in a shared house or stayed above the centre. It would be too suspicious for none of them to live around the area, plus it was good for them to have somewhere they could take someone if they hooked up.

Stepping into the warm atmosphere, he took in the room until his gaze landed on the woman who’d been on his mind all day. Her eyes met his across the bar and a small tentative smile creased her features, making him feel warm all over, his body tingling with something he couldn’t put his finger on. It was like desire, but more as if he felt it in his chest as well as his dick.

He took a seat at the bar and waited for her to finish serving Bill Nevins who owned the sheep farm next to old man Johnson. The two bickered like a pair of fish wives but if one was in need the other would always help out. That was the way this community worked, and Irish seemed to be fitting in just perfectly with them.

He saw her walk towards him, her hips swaying in a way that was totally natural, none of it for show, just the gentle, sexy movement that had his mind going places it shouldn’t in a room full of people mostly over sixty.

“What can I get ya?”

“I’ll have a pint of Stowford’s please.”

Irish moved, smoothly pulling the pint, and placing it on the mat in front of him. Bein handed her the cash and she put it in the register. He watched her as he slowly sipped his cider. She seemed less jumpy, her movements less jerky, and she was smiling at Nevins and Johnson as they argued over some new legislation on sheep farming. Which was hilarious because he knew they agreed, they just liked to fight. She still watched the room though, as if she was waiting for someone to walk in and hoping they wouldn’t.

With half an ear he listened to the two men bicker, his eyes on the beauty who moved with such grace. In this part of the country, and the deeper you went into Wales, sheep farms were everywhere. It wasn’t unusual for drivers to have to stop their car and wait for a flock of sheep to move out of the way or see them grazing on the side of the mountain roads.

She moved closer to him as she polished a glass.

“These two are like an old married couple,” he said getting Irish’s attention.

She wore her hair down tonight and he loved how he caught the scent of her shampoo when she moved. He wondered how it would feel brushing against his chest as she rose over him, sinking down onto his length. Jesus, he was acting like a lovesick schoolboy, and he couldn’t even remember being this wet when he was a boy with hormones raging through him so bad he’d had repetitive stress in his wrist from jerking off. He needed to dial it back, get to know her and find out if she was worth the effort. His dick had already made his vote clear, but he was in charge here.