Page 29 of Decker

Chapter Thirteen

She feltlike she was having an out of body experience as she watched the police coroner load her ex-husband’s body into the back of the black ME van. She felt nothing, not sadness or fear, just a complete numbness. Her gaze moved to Mark as he spoke with Gunner and Reid. She could still feel his arms around her and wanted nothing more than to go to him and have him wrap her up again and give her the feeling of safety that she wasn’t sure she’d ever feel again.

“All set, Dr Sankey.”

Hannah the paramedic had checked her over, even though Savannah had told her she was fine. She hadn’t had the energy to argue and had let them do their checks.

“Just make sure you rest. Shock is still an issue. You should probably make sure you aren’t alone after an experience like that.”

“Thank you, Hannah.” Savannah smiled even though it felt rigid and false on her face. She had no doubt she was in shock; she knew the signs, but she just wanted to go home and crawl into bed and pretend this had never happened.

As she hopped off the back of the rig, Mark walked towards her. His eyes wandered over her body, not in a sexual way but assessing her.

He held out his hand to her and she took it. “How you holding up?”

He was tall, towering over her and she wanted nothing more than to bury her head in his chest and let him take the weight of it all. She’d never been so tired and knew it was the adrenalin crashing hard.

“I’m okay.” He raised a brow at her, and she shrugged. “Tired, I guess.”

“Let’s get you home and you can get a shower and some rest. Aubrey is going to come by later and get a statement from you. The video is a huge help for them to get started identifying the men.”

Savannah didn’t want to think about those two men. Every time she closed her eyes, she relived the moment Andy fell to the ground dead as if in slow motion. Tears pricked her eyes as Mark helped her into a car and clipped her seat belt like she was a helpless child.

He gripped her chin and turned her to look at him. “It’s going to be all right, doc.” He kissed her gently and she swallowed a sob, his tenderness and care battering her defences.

The drive home was short and when she got there Lopez and Addie were waiting for her. Her friend took her in her arms the second she saw her. “Oh my God, Sav. I was so worried.” She stepped back and held Savannah away, observing her.

“I’m okay, Addie.” She was so used to being the caretaker and it felt odd to be on the receiving end of it—not bad just different. She swayed slightly on her feet and Mark wrapped an arm around her hip to steady her.

“Let’s get inside before you fall down.”

He guided her inside to the couch and then crouched. “I’m going to make some tea. Will you be okay for a minute?” His hands rested on her knees, and she wanted to reach for him. But they weren’t a couple, and yet, she was fighting not to lean on him.

“That sounds fine, thank you.”

He gave her one more look before nodding once and moving away. Instantly, the air felt colder, as if by him walking away he’d taken warmth she needed away too.

“Here, have this.” Addie wrapped a blanket around her shoulders and Savannah smiled.

“Thanks.”

“Want to talk about it?”

Savannah shook her head. “I don’t think I can.” She rolled her lips between her teeth as her voice broke.

Addie hugged her, rubbing her back. “I know, honey. I know.”

Savannah leaned against her friend and closed her eyes for just a moment, and the image of Andy came into her mind. She didn’t love him anymore, but she’d never wanted that. It was hard not to still care for him, even after all he’d done, to see him die so suddenly and in such a way shook her. God, his child would grow up without a father, his parents had lost a son, and his girlfriend, no matter how much Savannah disliked her, had lost the man she loved.

“Here, take this.”

Savannah opened her eyes and took the steaming tea, the heat warming her frigid hands.

She blew on the strong tea before taking a sip and winced at the sweetness, she didn’t normally take sugar but knew a lot of people thought it was good for shock. “What happens now?”

Mark took the seat to her left and turned slightly toward her but kept a physical space between them that she wanted to cross but felt unable to. “The police will identify the men and start their investigations.”

Addie snorted. “Don’t tell me you won’t be looking into this.”

“Already are. Lopez has a file on Andy Farr, and we’re looking into his dealings with these men, but I can tell you this. None of what we’ve found so far makes what happened today a surprise. He was in bed with some seriously bad people and up to his neck in debt to a loan shark called Benny Vasquez.”

“Is that who killed him?” Savannah shuddered at the thought of what Andy had been involved in.

“No, but I suspect they worked for him.”

How had she not known any of this? How long had it been going on? Was he involved in it while they were married? All of a sudden, it all became too much, and she knew she was on the verge of a complete meltdown. She had to get out of there so she could break down in private. She didn’t want her friends or Mark to know how close she was to falling apart.

Throwing the blanket off, she stood abruptly. “I need to take a shower. Excuse me.” Her voice wobbled as she spoke, and she fled the room as the tears erupted and a sob escaped her lips.

Reaching her bedroom, she quickly stripped off her clothes. She felt the urgent desire to get anything that had touched today off. She felt dirty, unclean, and rushed into the bathroom needing to shower and clean the filth of the day from her body, even as she recognised that it was her mind that was upsetting her. Savannah ramped the heat up in the shower as she stepped under the hot spray.

She scrubbed her skin as sobs bubbled up. She let the grief and fear and all the emotions from the day take her as her legs gave way, and she sank to the floor of the shower and cried.