Page 28 of Gunner

“Everybody, get the fuck out of my office. Now.”

Alex and Gunner paused, then backed away, but Astrid didn’t move.

“You should leave.” Alex touched Astrid on the arm, and she pulled away.

“You go. I’ll be there in a second.”

Jack was silent, leaning on the table with his back to them, breathing hard and Gunner could see he was struggling. He would be too. To know that your own parent hated you enough to try and take everything from you must be difficult at best.

Alex shrugged, and Gunner followed him out as he closed the door. They both knew Jack would never lay a finger on Astrid or any other woman for that matter, and maybe having someone who wasn’t Eidolon or family to stand with him was what he needed.

“What happened?” Gunner had his hands in his pockets as they moved down the hallway. They stopped at the door of the gym where everyone was waiting for Jack to come out and ream them a new asshole. To say he was angry was an understatement. Gunner avoided everyone’s eyes, not wanting to get into a conversation about what happened with Lacey or Jack. He had no idea if Jack had told the team about his father, but that wasn’t his news to tell.

“Listen, Alex, not to be a dick, but you need to ask Jack that. Whatever I told him is his to share or not. I just want to get the hell out of here.”

Gunner could feel the eyes of the others on him, and it made his skin itch. He wanted out of there before he did or said something he’d regret.

“Blake was out of line, but he’s sore over it.”

Gunner looked up at his old teammate. It was becoming ever more apparent that he wouldn’t be able to slip back into the team he’d once loved and betrayed. “I get it, Alex, I do. I did some bad shit to you guys, and I can’t take it back. I don’t expect forgiveness or redemption. I just want to get this shit done so I can move on.”

Alex raised his eyebrows. “You won’t be coming back?”

Gunner gave a humourless laugh. “How can I, man?”

Alex stayed quiet, having no more answers than he did.

“Look, tell Jack he knows how to reach me, and I’ll be in touch.”

Gunner went to walk away, and Alex grabbed his arm. “You got someplace to stay?”

He didn’t. He hadn’t bothered to sort somewhere, and then he’d been with Lacey. Just the thought of her made his chest ache. He wouldn’t admit that to Alex, though. It was about time he remembered that the only person he should rely on was himself. His team were gone, at least for him they were.

“Yeah, I’m good.”

Gunner shook off the arm and walked out of the building to his car. He got in and gripped the steering wheel hard. The car smelled like her, the soft scent swirling around him in the warm heat of the August afternoon. Just an hour ago, he’d been happier than he could ever remember being, and now it was all gone. Swept away like dust on the wind and he could blame nobody but himself.

He wondered if his choices would always be in the way of his future and knew they would. Some things you could not walk away from, and his decisions to let Pax be beaten and help Callie be kidnapped were some of them. It didn’t matter that he didn’t have a choice, Blake was right. He should have found a way.

Starting the car, he headed into town to find a bar and get so drunk it didn’t matter where he slept. He just needed to forget the shit show his life had become. He was tired, so very tired of fighting all the time.

He left his car, a loaner from Eidolon, in the carpark near the football ground and headed into the old part of the town. The newly developed Old Market was full of shops and eateries, but he just needed a good old-fashioned pub where he could sit at the bar and get drunk without anyone bothering him.

Walking into the Litchfield Vaults, he breathed in the smell of beer and welcomed the darkness of the bar. Sitting on a stool, he ordered a double Vodka straight. When the barmaid brought it over, she gave him a flirty smile which he returned for just a fraction of a second before a sense that he was betraying Lacey by even smiling at the other women overcame him and he shut it down.

Knocking back the drink, he lifted his finger for another. “Keep them coming.”

“No problem, handsome.”

Swirling the clear liquid, he wondered if Lacey was okay. Was she upset or did she consider she’d had a lucky escape? He almost wished for the second because the thought of her in pain made his heart ache. He would do anything not to have hurt her. He’d known the full truth about some of what he’d done, or not done in some cases, would hurt her and he wondered now if it was why he’d avoided the details.

Was he so desperate that he had to hide his true self to get the woman he wanted? Probably, but it had worked for a short time, and he couldn’t regret it. His time with Lacey had shown him how life could have been. Given him a glimpse into what he might have had, and he would treasure it. But the pain of losing her was almost too much to bear, and he had no clue how Alex had done it, mourning Evelyn for so long.

He could feel his thoughts becoming jumbled as he knocked back glass number four or was it five? He didn’t remember, but the pain was easing, which was good. He’d never been a big drinker, but he could see the appeal as things became numb.