Page 23 of Scarred Sunrise

Chapter 10

The second Nazareli had left,his instinct was to run out the door and avoid the look of disappointment in Lizzie’s eyes now that she knew what he was and some of what he’d become. Yet, the simple way she’d gone to make tea had calmed the fight or flight feeling inside him enough to allow him to keep his ass in the kitchen chair.

He watched her bustle around the room as she added biscuits to a plate, the ever-present limp she had would always give him pause. Not because it took anything from her beauty because nothing on earth could do that, it was the guilt he’d always have for his part in her injury that would forever be ingrained in him.

“I can hear your brain ticking from over here.” Lizzie shot him a quirked smile as she lifted the cups.

He was on his feet and taking them from her, placing them on the table with the fig rolls and custard creams. “I was just thinking about how I’d like to take you to brunch later, spend some time together. What do you think?” He hadn’t been thinking that, but as he said it, he knew it was what he wanted, to just do something normal with her. Not deal with his PTSD or her injury or the past but just be together.

Liz raised an eyebrow, knowing him better than anyone she knew he was lying, but she didn’t call him out for which he was grateful.

“That sounds perfect.”

Smithy released the breath he’d been holding, the relief that she wasn’t pushing him away more profound than he realised.

They drank their tea in silence for a few minutes, but neither touched the biscuits she’d laid out.

“So what happens next with everything we learned this morning?”

She was playing with the handle on her cup, and he noticed the perfectly painted pale pink nails, her delicate hands, how she always looked so put together. He loved that about her, but he also remembered the girl who would wade into the river without a thought for her clothes, or sit on the grass and not care that her butt was getting damp because she had him to keep her warm.

“I’ll call Zack in a few hours and fill them in on what we know. We should probably meet at Fortis later and decide on a way forward.”

Lizzie nodded as she tried to smother a yawn. Smithy reached over and covered her hand with his, admiring the pale perfection of her skin against the tan, roughness of his own. Liz twisted her hand and threaded her fingers through his as she looked him in the eye. “Thank you for not running. I know you wanted to.”

Her words hollowed him out from the inside. Knowing he’d put that hesitancy in her, and that she was thanking him for not running, made him feel like a heel. He wanted to be honest with her, not hide away as he’d been, but he didn’t want to hurt her either.

“I’m not made of glass, Ty. I know this isn’t easy for you, but I want to be here for you.”

He had always thought he was strong mentally, being in the SAS and before that on the Achilles mission had required a certain strength, but he had nothing on this woman. She was like a diamond, so stunningly beautiful and pure but the strongest person he knew.

“I did want to run. I didn’t want to face the questions or the look of distress on your face.”

“What changed your mind?”

He stroked his thumb over her palm and watched the goosebumps pepper her skin. “You did. You treat everything that comes at you with calmness and you don’t judge. You just accept things and keep putting one foot in front of the other.”

“No point crying over what we can’t change.”

“You’re a wise woman.” He changed the subject not ready to open himself more than he already had. “And an exhausted one.”

Her lips tipped up as her eyes twinkled. “I am tired. It’s been a while since I pulled an all-nighter.”

“Why don’t you get some sleep and I’ll lock up and take the couch? I don’t want to leave you alone.”

“Or you could lock up and sleep next to me. I could really do with your arms around me right now.”

Smithy went still, knowing this was Lizzie putting herself out there. The moment seemed to freeze in time, but he stood and pulled her to her feet. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he felt the press of her tits against his chest as his hands rested above the lush curve of her ass.

“I’d love nothing more than to hold you in my arms.” He wanted to kiss her but wasn’t sure he could hold back if he did and now wasn’t the time to take things to the next step. Lizzie deserved the romance and the time, not the ‘wham bam thank you ma’am’. “I’ll be up in a minute.” He kissed her nose and turned her, giving her a nudge towards the door.

He watched her go, admiring the sway of her hips, remembering the feel of her underneath him as she gasped his name. His cock pulsed at the image in his head, and he willed it away as he moved slowly through her home, making sure everything was secure. He could feel the love in this house, pictures of the siblings, of their extended families, and Dane and Lauren’s wedding.

Mateo and Lizzie smiling into the camera caught his eye, and he picked it up, wondering what his life would’ve been if he’d stayed. If he’d married Lizzie and Mateo had been their son. In that second, he’d never regretted his choices more. He could’ve had all this, but he’d allowed his past to dictate his future and he was determined not to do that ever again.

Walking up the stairs, he saw her bedroom door was open. Reaching her room he saw her under the covers lying on her side. Pausing for a second, he took in the room that had so many elements of the woman in it. The antique armoire the wooden oak bed and wardrobe, the soft, pale pink quilt. It was textures and colours in an elegant mix that was designed to make those who entered the room comfortable.

He shed his jacket and boots, leaving the rest of his clothes on before he crawled on the bed behind her and pulled her back to his front, sliding his bottom arm under her neck. Lizzie snuggled back against him, her ass near his crotch was sweet torture. Draping his top arm over her waist, he kissed her hair and felt the sigh of her body as she relaxed. Moments later she was asleep, but he stayed awake, cherishing the moment he thought he’d never have again.