Page 5 of Deadly Sins

“Fine. I understand that you’re forbidden to talk to him. But I can. You need to help me help him. This isn’t about us; this is about Joaquín. Can you tell me about the girl who died? Who invited her? Was Joaquín dating her?”

I clenched my teeth. Some people thought that since I was a SEAL, I’d have a wicked temper, but I had complete control of my emotions at all times. That composure allowed me the mental strength to point a loaded gun at my enemy and still be able to make a conscious decision not to pull the trigger. I’d never raised my voice to Mia, ever. Even so, she knew when I was pissed off.

“What the fuck? Do you think you can just walk in here like you didn’t rip my heart out, and I’m just going to comfort you and fix this mess? I already fucking told you there’s nothing I can do. And I don’t owe you anything.”

Her chin dipped to her chest, her shoulders slumping. “I know you don’t believe me, and I don’t expect you to, but I had to leave. I didn’t have a choice.”

“There’s always a choice.” She had bags around her eyes, which made me remember when I used to watch her sleep. She always curled up in a ball with Hero at her feet. I never told her, but she used to talk in her sleep, sometimes even said my name. “And we aren’t in this together. My world started and stopped with you. All my friends told me that we wouldn’t work that we didn’t have a chance because we were so young and because of my job, but I told them you were different. That you would have my back no matter what.”

Her voice cracked. “For what it’s worth…I’ve never even looked at another guy. I want you to know that.”

My gaze bored into her. “That’s supposed to make it better? That I’m the only man you’ve ever been with, but you still don’t want to be with me? Well, I wish I could say it was that easy for me. Since you left, I’ve fucked a bunch of girls, trying to get you out of my head.”

But she was still fucking there every night when I closed my eyes. I prayed her face would soon fade from my mind.

Her mouth tightened. She wasn’t stupid—she had to know from her brother that I’d been with other women since her. But she only had herself to blame.

“Please, Grant, if what we had meant anything to you, please help me exonerate Joaquín.”

My eyes met hers, and I cupped her face, fighting the urge to kiss her. “You meant everything to me. You know that.”

She pulled away from me, her bottom lip quivering. “I’m back now.”

“You left me. Period. You can never come back.” As much as I loved Mia, I could never give her another chance. I refused to let myself rely on any woman after she had abandoned me. I didn’t need that type of stress. My job was consuming—my personal life had to provide me stability and comfort. Or at the very least, pure release.

“But—I need you.”

I’d needed her once, also. Now, I needed her to leave. “I can’t help you. I’d do anything I could to clear Joaquín; you know that. But my hands are tied. You need to leave.”

I pushed her out of the entryway and slammed the door behind her, never looking back. I wished I could say it was easy, shutting her out of my life again, but her scent still lingered in the air, and my heart remained with it.

I hoped I never had to see her again, which was now a realistic option since her brother was in jail.

Still, my heart ached for her and for my swim buddy. There was no way Joaquín could’ve intentionally killed that stripper. Maybe he’d just gotten too rough in bed. Regardless, the reputation of our Team was now tarnished.

The public was supposed to see us as heroes who rescued hostages from ISIS, freed boat captains from pirates, and assassinated leaders of terrorist regimes. Not as a bunch of sex-crazed, hard-partying hooligans with no morals. The average American citizens would be blown away if they learned the truth about our lifestyle. Just last month, we had rescued some kidnapped USO cheerleaders from insurgents, and my boy Pat had saved his wife Annie from a sex ring in Aruba. We worked hard, but we partied harder. And no way would I ever apologize for what any of us had to do to relieve our stress. The intensity of our lives was unfathomable to most.

Even so, Mia had been it for me. I’d once found enough comfort in her touch to forget my daily burdens. But no more. I would never allow another woman to distract me from being a warrior. Plenty of girls wanted to be fucked by a Navy SEAL, some real-life hero to step off the pages of their favorite romance novel. I was now more than happy to use them the way they used me.

Mia was the only woman I’d ever loved, and when she left, I’d closed my heart to anyone else.