Page 89 of Beast

I was eating a pitiful excuse for a breakfast, runny, cold eggs and piss-poor coffee when she slipped into the galley in her meet-the-parents clothes, clutching Gabriel’s hand. She was hesitant as she came closer; she looked almost hopeful.

The shame and regret twisted painfully in my chest when she smiled up at me, her cheeks flush with a burn from my beard. For the first time since I met her she seemed happy and it fucking pissed me off that I allowed myself to even get close to her and give her a false sense of hope.

“Hey, buddy. Did you have fun last night?”

He gave me a high five. “Fun last night.” Gabriel had a habit of repeating what I said, which I found amusing.

Annie sat him down in a chair, and fidgeted with the hem of her dress as I made them breakfast.

“You ready?”

Confusion muddled her face and though I wanted to sidle up to her and tuck her into the comfort of my arm, I resisted. “Yeah, I have everything. How do I look?”

Her face glowed, as it had last night. All I wanted in that moment was to drag her back to our room and take back my promise not to make love to her. Instead, I frowned. “You look beautiful. Kyle, Vic, and I will wait outside your house and watch you walk in. Once I’m sure you’re in safe hands, I’ll go.”

She blinked back tears, though I ignored them. I tried to pretend they were tears of excitement, but I could tell by her white pallor and tense stance that she was petrified.

She ate her breakfast in silence and I was both thankful and angry about every fucking thing. She finished and threw away the soggy paper plate; her shoulders slumped in defeat.

“Let’s go.”

I took both her and Gabriel’s hands and led them off the boat and dock. We’d docked at the SEAL base in Coronado so we wouldn’t be hassled by customs and immigration. Vic and Kyle carried our luggage to Vic’s Chevy Tahoe while Dave stayed behind on the boat. Annie, Gabriel, and I sat outside my office. Her eyes darted around, staring at the SEALs training on the beach. A few guys looked right at us and Annie’s gaze lowered to the ground almost instantly. She tapped her foot and clutched my arm, almost leaving marks.

She turned to me. “About last night, I wanted to apologize—”

I cut her off. “Don’t.”

“Will you come see me when you return from deployment? I really would like to spend some time with you when you come back.”

An image flashed in my mind of Annie and Gabriel greeting me on the dock after a deployment, holding a sign, and jumping up and down trying to get a better glimpse of me. “Annie, I don’t think that’s a good idea—for you or Gabriel. You need to heal and move on. We’ll be bonded together forever because of this. But that’s all there is. A memory. You’re confusing your gratitude for your freedom with your feelings toward me. You don’t know me. And I don’t really know you, either. We have nothing in common. It was what it was. Now that you’re back home, you’ll get back with your rich, surfer boyfriend who keeps telling the press how much he misses you, and you’ll forget I exist.”

“That’s impossible. And I doubt Chris has stayed faithful all these years. I’m sure he has a ton of girls. I’m not the same person I was when I left. No one has ever done anything for me like you have. I need you. I won’t be able to forget you.”

“Well, you’re going to have to. I’m not the man you think I am.”

Vic pulled the car around with Kyle in the passenger seat.

I opened the door for her and she squeezed inside, Gabriel sitting next to her in Vic’s daughter’s car seat. I sat next to Annie and held her hand. I didn’t want to be a dick to her; I just didn’t want to give her any hope there was a future for us. Because there wasn’t.

As we drove away from the Navy base, my home, I looked out back at the yacht. I swallowed hard. After months of Annie consuming my thoughts, our time together was coming to an end.

Vic drove up the I-5 North. Annie was looking out the window at the coast.

“I never thought I’d see San Diego again.” Annie had chills on her arms, and I put my arm around her to comfort her.

We exited in Encinitas, and Vic drove down to a street full of beachfront mansions. I knew she was loaded, but this place was ridiculous. Vic parked up the street from her house, and I helped her and Gabriel out of the car. Vic and Kyle both emerged to say good-bye.

“Thank you both for everything. I hope I’ll see you guys again.”

Vic gave her a hug. “Good luck, Annie.”

Kyle also embraced her. “Of course we’ll see you again. You’re Pat’s girl. I’m counting on hooking up with all your hottie friends.”

Her mouth spread into a smile. “They’ll love you.”

I leveled Kyle with my eyes. I’d deal with him later.

“You guys stay here. I’ll take her inside.”