Page 18 of Rebellious

“To be, or not to be,” Kendall started, quoting one of her favorite speeches from Shakespeare. She lifted her gaze to his again, hoping he saw how close to breaking she was. “That is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing end them: to die, to sleep no more; and by a sleep, to say we end the heart-ache, and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to? 'Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep, to sleep, perchance to dream; aye, there's the rub, for in that sleep of death, what dreams may come, when we have shuffled off this mortal coil, must give us pause.”

At Johnnie’s tender smile, Kendall screamed inside her head. It reminded her of his charm, the gentle care he’d once shown her.

“You’re brilliant,” he told her. “You’re the reason Mattie and Harley love Shakespeare so much.”

“Maybe,” she agreed morosely. “I was the cerebral one out of all the moms. I thought I bored them.”

“You’re many things, gorgeous, but never a bore.”

His nickname for her always instantly brightened her day and gave her the strength to carry on. Today, she couldn’t even find it in herself to smile.

“It never fails to amaze me how many English literature passages you remember off the top of your head.”

“To be or not to be is a question I ask myself all the time lately, Johnnie.”

His nostrils flared. “I love you. I know you still love me—”

Before she answered, Val knocked on her partially opened door and walked in. The moment Kendall saw him, she knew something was wrong. He rarely stopped by.

Even if that hadn’t been the case, the look on his face, part shock and anger, would’ve clued Kendall in.

“I been calling you, Johnnie,” Val said, and nodded to Kendall. “Puff been calling you.”

“Our phones are upstairs,” Johnnie said on a swallow. “What’s happened?”

“It’s Rebel and Jana,” Val said in a shaky voice. “Motherfuckers tried to kill them.”

Once again, Rebel almost lost her life.

Once again, she debated her culpability in a struggle that would’ve resulted in her watery death if she hadn’t prevailed.

She was back in the room reserved for Momma, a place Rebel had been in not that long ago. Aches plagued her. Whichever fuckhead she’d fought the most had abused her belly and kicked her at some point. She was in a lot of pain, but she wanted to be home.

Recycled air, beeping machines, a window that revealed a waning day, and two hospital beds in a larger than normal room surrounded her. As hospital room went, it was part standard fare and part special privileges, but still couldn’t compare to the comfort and luxury of her suite.

Tears slid down Rebel’s cheeks and she growled, slapping them away, angry and heartbroken. After discovering her boyfriend cheated last week, she’d cried buckets in the privacy of her room, unable to believe his betrayal. She’d gouge out her own eyeballs before she ever allowed Kaia Riggs to see her pain because he’d fucked one of her biggest haters. Again.

He’d sworn she was the most important girl in the world to him. And, yet, he’d hurt her deeply. Not by accident either. On purpose. She’d told him what she thought of a cheater and he hadn’t cared.

Beyond the doors of home, she pretended she wasn’t devastated. Somehow, over the past few days, she’d made peace with her new status in life: single. She’d planned to sign up for the teen dating site and keep watch for when another handsome guy dropped out of nowhere as Kaia had done.

She’d know her brothers and father set her up again, which CJ finally admitted to because Kaia finally copped to it. Old news. How she met Kaia wasn’t important anymore. They were done. She hadn’t even wanted to be his friend because she’d spent the week hating him and missing him in equal parts.

But life was short, proven to her time and again as she struggled to reach her birthday in thirty-three days. Death sank his claws into her when Rule tried to drown her and hadn’t released her. It would shock her if she turned fifteen. Even if she saw May 15th this year, today convinced her she’d never reach sixteen.

A sob escaped her and she clapped a hand over her mouth. She feared death. She feared the unknown. And…

“Do you want some water, Reb?” Seven remained in her room because Diesel had left her to do whatever. She’d still been in the ER when he walked out and she hadn’t heard from him since. “A cold towel?”

“No, thank you,” she said hoarsely, exhausted and heartbroken. Terrified. She didn’t want to die. She had so much she still wanted to do in life. “I want Momma.”

Every now and then, DeLuca checked in, which surprised Rebel since he was a…whatever? Prospect? Probate? She didn’t know what they classified him as, but so far, she hadn’t seen her parents, Kaia, or her brothers.

“Meggie and Outlaw are on the way, babe,” Seven said gruffly. “Do you want me to stand in the hallway? Give you a little peace?”

“It doesn’t matter,” she said around sniffles.

“Aww, don’t be like that. You’re a little firebrand. Don’t let bullshit bring you down.”