Page 157 of Rebellious

“Worry about shit that matter. You gorgeous, okay? I’m not a bullshitting motherfucker. If you was some ratchet, hot mess, I’d tell your ass. You have legs that go on for fucking days. Make a man have wet dreams. All that flame-colored hair. Not to mention your beautiful face, Red.” He stood and peered down at her. “Stop fishing for fucking compliments, girl. By the way, you ever tell John Boy I noticed anything about you, I’m denying that shit.”

“It wouldn’t matter to him,” she said, almost giddy at the thought that it would.

Mortician had known Johnnie wanted her, so he’d stepped aside.

Tears slid down Kendall’s cheeks, and she curled deeper under the covers. She knew she was at Roxy’s. She’d been in and out all day, checking on her and fussing over her. She’d even walked to Kendall’s house and got her pajamas to put on. She’d coaxed food and juice into Kendall, made her take pain meds, and insisted she drink water.

But nothing could take away Kendall’s shame or her despair. For all her determination to endure her marriage, she couldn’t. Cheating was a hard no for her. Yet, she’d done it to her husband. She’d drank herself into oblivion and slept with one of the few men who’d always protected her no matter what.

How could she?

Her marriage was over. Johnnie deserved better than her cheating. As angry as she was with Bailey, she deserved better, too.

At the knock on the door, Kendall swiped her cheeks. “Come in,” she said hoarsely.

Mortician walked into the room and closed the door behind him, locking the knob. “Don’t need motherfuckers walking in and overhearing our conversation.”

She blushed and nodded, then turned her back on him, unable to meet his gaze.

His sigh sent more tears rushing to her eyes. “Two drunk, hurt, emotional motherfuckers not a good combination, baby.”

She shrank further under the covers.

“You hate me?”

“I could never, but I am the reason you betrayed Bailey.”

“No, Kendall. That’s on me. I shouldn’t have touched you. Not only because of Bailey, but because of you. You deserve better than what I gave you. What I can give you.”

“I know you love Bailey.”

Another sigh. “And you love that motherfucker. You pleaded for his fucking life—”

Right now, she felt nothing for Johnnie. Not the anger she’d carried for days or the shame that she allowed him to force himself on her.

“I can’t love him that much. He’s never cheated on me. He respects our vows enough to have gotten rid of all his pictures of Meggie. He’d never cross that line no matter how he threatens to do so. How could I betray him?”

Mortician was silent for a moment. “That’s on me, too, Red. I’m nothing but a motherfucking cheat. He my club brother. I fucked his woman. I seduced you.”

That wasn’t how she remembered it. “You aren’t a cheat and you didn’t—”

“I just remember bits and pieces,” he interrupted. “At first, I thought it was a dream. You was more fucked up than me, so you beating yourself up over shit you convinced yourself happened. I don’t remember most of it.”

Kendall turned onto her back and met Mortician’s vulnerable gaze.

“I swear I s-seduced you,” she whispered.

“I don’t think you did, but who knows, baby?”

She let that sink in, then curled up again. “Do you know what I wish?”

He snickered. “With you, anything possible,” he said, still her Mort, her friend.

Her heart eased a little. “That Johnnie hadn’t broken me. That I hadn’t allowed myself to be broken. I admire Meggie so much. I wish I could be as strong as her.”

“You two different women, Kendall,” Mortician reminded her. “Meggie got a lot of her daddy in her. That motherfucker was tough, strong-willed. Then she got Prez holding her down as much as she hold him down. You lost your daddy when you was so fucking young and Johnnie your man. I’d fucking cave, too.”

“I admire her,” she whispered. “I wish I could confess. She’d tell me what to do.”