Page 135 of Rebellious

“It’s the truth. I don’t want Diesel to die because of me. I would never get over that guilt. Life is short,” she repeated. “I want you happy. I wouldn’t want Fia’s death on your conscience. You live with enough pain over your cousin.”

“Thank you.”

“As long as you’re honest with me,” she repeated.

“Of course, sweetheart.”

She studied his face, then bowed her head. After a moment, she grabbed his hands and lifted her eyes. “I know you think it’s because of Diesel that I don’t want to have sex with you. And, maybe, that’s true,” she said, surprising him. He didn’t expect her to admit to wanting to cheat. “But this is more about you and me. I’m precious. My virginity even more so. I want to know that you deserve it.”

“You think Diesel does?”

“Diesel isn’t a good man, Kaia. Not like you. Don’t turn into something you aren’t because you think you’re not good enough for me. You’re perfect. It’s just that I’ve dreamed of marrying Diesel since I was ten years old. He’s a liar and a manipulator. A killer. He has a lot of issues and is the last fucking person on earth who deserves my most precious gift and something I’ll never get back. He’s a motherfucker to the core.”

“Then why is he here? Why do Outlaw and Meggie allow him around you? Why haven’t they kicked him the fuck out?”

“It’s black or white with Daddy, Kaia. If he steps out of line with me, Daddy says he’ll kill him. There’s a lot more to unpack there and I don’t intend to talk about it with you. This is still about you and me. You made me happy. Honestly. And I was moving past my, uh, feelings…I-I mean my crush on Diesel. I was over it and him. You aren’t bad like him, but you still took a move from his playbook and cheated. You still didn’t fucking respect my decision to tell you ‘no’ and either say you couldn’t be with me anymore or just leave the fucking party. You want me, I have to trust that you deserve me. Sex is a big fucking step, jackass.”

Yet, Kaia was almost certain she’d do it with Diesel if that motherfucker lost the last little bit of decency he had in him. Kaia had some sense. He saw how that motherfucker looked at her. Diesel’s issue had nothing to do with not wanting Rebel. He suspected he was playing the long game, waiting until she was closer to sixteen or already sixteen.

That fuckhead’s lust and possessiveness would break him long before her eighteenth birthday.

He wouldn’t point that out or the fact that nothing she said explained her mother’s logic.

“You know what, Kaia?” Rebel’s voice broke into his thoughts. “Forget it. We can’t reach a meeting of the minds. You don’t trust me and I don’t trust you. Well earned on both our parts,” she said sadly. “But this won’t work. When Momma stopped trusting Daddy, their entire marriage almost imploded. Diesel is always around and he plays mind games. I can tell you I want us to have a chance. We both know he will do everything humanly possible to undermine our relationship. If you look at Fia too long, he’ll make sure that I know. If I say something to him that seems a certain way, he’ll rub it in your face.” She lumbered to her feet. “I’m sorry—”

Kaia jumped up and hugged her, remembering to take care so he wouldn’t hurt her. He wanted him and Rebel to work out with everything in him, but he wanted to best Diesel more. If he hadn’t been looming in the background, Kaia probably would’ve done the sensible thing and friend-zoned Rebel for the time being. They needed to rebuild their trust in each other. Being in a ‘relationship’ would complicate matters. But fuck Diesel.

“Hey, babe, thank you for your honesty,” he said sincerely. “And you’re right. You’re precious. Your body is precious. Your virginity—”

“Whoever gets it has to be worthy.” That certainly wasn’t motherfucking Diesel. She knew it, too. “I will prove to you that I am. I don’t want any other girl but you. Now and forever. You never lied to me about Diesel. If you give me a fair shot, I will trust you.” It was that motherfucker he’d never trust. “And I won’t fall for his tactics. Just promise me, you’ll give me the same benefit of the doubt.”

An eternity passed before she nodded. “I will, Huahua.”

He smiled. “That’s all I ask, Chi.”

Falling silent, she gathered her presents, somehow fitting them into two gift bags. She paused long enough to kiss his cheek, then limped away, leaving Kaia with one thought.

Fuck Diesel.

Morning in the spring was one of CJ’s favorite times of year. The song of the birds, the new greenery in the forest, and the flowers blooming in everyone’s gardens filled him with hope. Now more than ever, he clung to that feeling.

He’d learned firsthand how fucking hard and fragile life was, how easily broken sanity could be. Walking through the light rain as the rising sun swallowed the dawn invigorated him. He had a purpose for his early stroll—seeing if Harley wanted to ride with him to school.

When he’d been younger, either Mom or Aunt Bunny took him for daily walks. It was how he learned to love the forest and the beauty of nature.

If it had been the weekend, he would’ve stopped at Lolly’s to tell her hello and talk to Grant. Of course, if it was the weekend, he wouldn’t be out so early in the morning. He wasn’t a little kid anymore, so he rarely walked just to walk.

As he passed Lolly’s house and made the slight curve that led to Aunt Zoann’s, movement caught his attention and he squinted, sure he was imagining Aunt Kendall curled up in the shadow of one of the trees. She looked as if she didn’t have any clothes on, her unmistakable red hair spread around her.

“Fuck!” he said, running to her and kneeling down. He was right. She was naked, but her clothes were underneath her. Leaves, dirt, and dampness clung to her hair. The smell of alcohol and familiar men’s cologne wafted from her. He removed his school jacket and covered her. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Jumping to his feet and snatching his cell phone from his pocket, he called Dad as he ran to Lolly’s back door and pounded.

“What, boy?” Dad barked into the phone as if his day was already off to a shitty start.

Couldn’t be any shittier than CJ’s suddenly was.

“It’s Aunt Kendall, Dad,” CJ cried as Lolly swung the door open. “She’s under a fucking tree without any clothes. I think she’s been drinking.”