Page 2 of ’Til You Break

“I’ll be right over there if you need me.” She points to a spot at the counter, beside a vintage jukebox with a yellowed Out-of-Order sign stuck to the glass panel.

Instead of answering, Vik just sits. He is still staring at me. It’s a look I’d be thrilled to bask in if it were from anyone other than my stepbrother.

“How have you been, Hannah?” he asks, when the ditzy blonde is out of earshot.

His question strikes an aching chord in my chest. I am embarrassed that I’m jealous of some chick hitting on my stepbrother, but more ashamed that I’ve found myself in such a sticky situation.

I mustn’t forget that last part. It’s why I’m here.

“I’ve been…” I pause uncomfortably before I get to the answer. This is it. The day I’ve dreaded since I helped that guy in the hospital. It won’t do me any good to lie now, but honesty is a lot harder to come by when I’m getting lost in his striking blue eyes. “I’ve been better. How are you?”

“I’m sorry to hear it,” he says. “I take it that’s why you wanted to meet?”

“Yes. I didn’t want to have this conversation over the phone,” I say.

“Then how can I help you, Hannah?”

The way he asks the question makes me choke on the dryness in my mouth. No familial posturing or reassuring smile for the sister he hasn’t seen in years. He’s merely staring through me, the way I’m sure he does to all the corporate titans who think they can walk over him.

“I… uhm…”

I’ve rehearsed this speech a thousand times over the past few days. Polished every phrase and practiced every word. Sitting here, though, my mind goes empty, leaving me vacant and bare for him to see.

“They let me go from my job…”

Good, I got it out. But there’s no time for a sigh of relief, as his brow lifts above one eye and a knowing twinkle splashes over his face.

I wait for him to say something. Anything. It doesn’t come. He remains still, letting me carry the weight of the conversation. Fair is fair, I suppose, but I’d take a pained grumble over this silence any day.

“The hospital had to make cuts,” I add.

I’ve reached out over the years, but I quickly learned that Vik isn’t much for small talk. His low enthusiasm didn’t bother me when things were good. I wasn’t contacting him to make our relationship thrive. I simply wanted to keep it alive. Now, every word I say is another dagger plunged deeper in my chest. I am reminded that I am sitting in front of my wealthy stepsibling, with my hat in my hand, figuratively, asking for a handout.

If the embarrassment from before doesn’t kill me, the shame of what follows surely will.

“Seems foolish in our crisis-ridden climate.” He tilts his head to the side.

“That’s what I said.” Only, I didn’t just say it. I shouted it with emotional fury. “But they say there isn’t enough money for a full complement of staff.”

“Have you looked at other hospitals? Clinics?” If there’s emotion in his voice, I can’t gauge what it is. No skepticism, concern, or anything in between.

It’s business as usual.

“I’ve been looking for months but all I’ve gotten is apologies and rejection letters,” I admit, honestly. It feels good to tell the truth, when I believed this conversation would be one lie after another.

“Then I’ll ask you again.” Vik draws his hat from under the table and rests it atop his perfectly shaped hair. “What is it I can help you with, Hannah?”

Swallowing my pride, I let my head sink to the table. It’s old, dirty and the once-white top is layered with coffee-stained circles that have been etched so deep into the wood, they’ve become a feature.

To say he’s well off is an understatement. He runs a billion-dollar tech company with cell phones and smart gadgets that have made his brand a household name. But it doesn’t matter how much he has, asking for it stings just the same.

“I need help.” It’s barely a whisper, but he hears me. “I can’t go to my mom. I don’t want her stressing about me, and—I’ll pay you back with interest if that helps.”

It takes a long time to find the strength to lift my head and face Vik again. And all the while, he stays silent. Mulling my statement over in his head.

“Hannah, I’m not going to give you money,” Vik says, once the contemplation ceases.

Tears rush to my eyes as hopelessness returns in full force.