Page 37 of Homecoming

“Are you all right?”

I could see the concern for me marring her face.

“Fuck no,” I exploded.

She was the only one I could tell my true state of mind.

My true feelings.

For everyone out there, I had to put on a brave face. An understanding one.

But not with Lola.

I hadn’t even realized how much I needed her in my life.

But there she was.

Giving me exactly what I needed even without me having to ask.

Fuck, she was it.

It was at that moment, I watched her worried face looking up at me.

Ready to give me anything I wanted. Anything I needed.

It was at that moment I realized I loved her.

I had loved that woman for over twenty years. And not only did that love not go away, it only grew stronger.

At that moment I feared it would consume me whole.

But loving her wasn't toxic. Not like with my family.

No, loving her was healing.

“Fuck,” I spat, realizing it was time to tell her everything. I just had to figure out how.

She deserved to know the truth.

“I know—” she started to say, but I went to her and kissed her.

I needed more time. Just a little more.

Also, I needed to congratulate my teammate on his win. We were a team after all.

Going into the weekend, you have a clear vision of how all of it is going to go.

You see it all so clearly.

When one thing does not go according to plan, you become nervous. And when you’re nervous, you make mistakes.

You try your best to go back to that place. A place where everything is what it is supposed to be.

What you don’t realize was, there is no going back.

You have to adapt.

My new reality was, the owner and as such the team, favored my teammate.