Page 130 of Clinically Awkward

“That’s not normal.”

“Nothing about my life is normal,” Julien said. “I’m married to a woman who reads tarot cards to our triplets. This morning, she told me that Jupiter’s alignment with Saturn means I need to ‘release my need for control and embrace the chaos.’ Do you know what happens when I embrace the chaos? The clinic burns down.”

“The clinic didn’t burn down,” I said.

“Nathan’s office burned down.”

“That wasn’t Ester’s fault!” Nathan protested.

“Your iguana,” Julien said, his voice rising slightly, “knocked over the heating lamp and set fire to your office. We had to evacuate the entire building. The fire department came. There were news crews. AGAIN.”

“It was an accident!”

“It was a lizard.”

“She’s an iguana!”

“I don’t care what species it is,” Julien snapped. “It committed arson!”

“Technically,” Fitz said, “arson requires intent. Ester didn’t intend to start a fire. She was just being a lizard.”

“That’s not a legal defense,” Hayden said.

“It should be.”

“Can we please,” Julien said, pinching the bridge of his nose, “talk about something other than Nathan’s criminal reptile?”

“She’s not a criminal,” Nathan muttered.

“She’s banned from the clinic.”

“That’s discrimination.”

“It’s common sense.”

Gabriel, who had been quietly sipping his beer and watching the chaos unfold, cleared his throat. “So, uh, speaking of life updates...”

We all turned to look at him.

“Cate’s pregnant.”

Silence. Complete, absolute silence.

Then: “WHAT?” Nathan practically launched himself out of his golf cart. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah,” Gabriel said, grinning. “Found out last week. We’re about eight weeks along.”

“Oh my God,” I said. “Congratulations, man. That’s amazing.”

“Megan’s going to be a big sister,” Gabriel said, and I could hear the pride in his voice. “She’s already planning the nursery. Apparently, the baby needs ‘at least seventeen stuffed animals’ and ‘a nightlight that looks like a unicorn.’”

“That’s adorable,” Fitz said.

“That’s expensive,” Hayden muttered.

“You’re all going to be uncles again,” Gabriel said, looking around at us.

Julien smiled. “Congratulations, Gabriel. Truly. Cate must be thrilled.”