Page 22 of Hush, Little Baby

I want to tell them that, but I don’t.

Nikolaus strokes down my arm, and his thumb moves inside my mouth just enough to remind me it’s there, and I suckle again without thinking, cheeks heating as the motion settles me deeper.

“Medical?” Nikolaus asks.

Another pause.

This one feels different.

“There’s… a lot,” Constantine says.

Nikolaus goes very still.

I open my eyes a little.

Constantine is looking at his phone, brows drawn together. “Frequent appointments. Labs. Imaging. Specialist referrals. I can’t see any details, but there are billing records all over the place.”

How can he even see all that? That’s not fair.

Nikolaus’s hand cups the back of my neck protectively.

“What kind of specialists?”

“Rheumatology. Neurology. Gastro. Cardiology. Pain management consult once, looks like. Physical therapy referral.”

My eyes sting.

Everything’s negative.

No need for a follow-up.

Nikolaus must feel something change in me, because his thumb presses a little more firmly against my tongue.

“Stay with me,” he murmurs. “You are not there anymore.”

There.

My apartment.

My phone.

The doctor’s message.

Me alone in my kitchen, crying into my sleeve.

I blink, and tears slip out anyway.

Nikolaus catches them with the side of his hand.

Constantine’s voice softens by a fraction, though he keeps reading. “Parents in another state. No spouse. No partner. No siblings. Emergency contact is his mother.”

Nikolaus hums, and I don’t know what it means. “Financials?” he asks.

“Niko…” Constantine says quietly.

“Tell me.”

Another pause.