Page 33 of Winter Wishes at Pennycress Inn

‘Yes. No.’ Scarlett shrugged. She felt miserable. Tired and miserable. ‘I don’t know. I do, but my ex was awful, and I just don’t think I’m ready or strong enough to go through all of that again.’

‘Maybe you don’t have to. Maybe Rowan is a better guy than your ex.’ Nicola took a sip of her coffee before lowering her mug. ‘I don’t know what went on between you and your ex or why you ended but honestly, when me and my ex broke up, I didn’t think I’d ever be able to trust anyone again until Charlie came along.’

‘Really?’

‘Yep. My ex cheated on me and I was probably in a similar position to you. I didn’t think I’d ever trust anyone else with my heart again. Heck, I didn’t want to. I’d resigned myself to the single life, and I was pretty content with just me and my cat, Trixie, but then with Charlie…’ Tilting her head, she smiled. ‘He was different.’

Scarlett shifted in her chair. She was pretty certain Nicola probably hadn’t discovered her ex had a wife, child and other house to boot, but it did sound as though her previous relationship had ended badly and she’d moved on. And was happy. ‘How did you know Charlie wasn’t going to break your heart again though?’

Nicola shrugged. ‘I didn’t. Not really. Although everything about the relationship felt so different. My feelings towards him were different, and I think, looking back, although I probably wasn’t quite as confident as I am now about this, but I think by the time I started worrying about that I was in too deep, anyway.’

‘What do you mean?’

Nicola inched her coffee mug to the left, before shifting in her chair. ‘I think by the time we got into a relationship, I knew that if it didn’t work, I would hurt anyway. That doesn’t make sense, does it? I guess what I’m trying to say is, if I hadn’t jumped and taken the risk, I would have always wondered “what if” and I’d have been upset that I’d let the chance of a happy life with him pass me by.’

‘So you felt you might as well take the chance?’

‘Exactly.’ Nicola nodded.

‘And you think I should?’ Scarlett spun her coffee mug slowly on the tabletop. Was she ready to? What if Rowan did hurt her the way Tyler had? After all, she didn’t know him. Not really. They’d only met a few weeks ago.

‘That’s something only you can answer, I’m afraid.’ Nicola frowned as the phone rang from the reception desk, the monotonous ringtone filtering through to the kitchen. Standing up, Nicola walked towards the door before pausing and looking back. ‘What I will say is, I’m damn well glad I took the chance on Charlie.’

‘Right.’ Scarlett looked into her coffee mug at the swirling liquid inside. It was different with Nicola and Charlie though, wasn’t it? They were made for each other, perfect together. She and Rowan, though. She closed her eyes. She just didn’t know. How was she supposed to know whether to risk her heart on him or not? It wasn’t as though she had a crystal ball or a deck of tarot cards, or something. She’d be going in blind.

It was Rowan though, they’d been talking about Rowan, not some stranger, but the man who had given her a free espresso and cleaned up after she’d made a mess of his coffee cart, the man who had stepped in and saved her merchandise from any more damage at the craft fair, the man who had helped her rescue a sheep and who hadn’t batted an eyelid when she’d told him her ludicrous phobia.

It was Rowan. Rowan, who made her heart beat a little faster every time she saw him.

What if she had got it wrong? What if she had just acted on a whim, trusted a knee-jerk reaction, a reaction fed by fear rather than looking to the future, rather than letting her walls down and trusting him?

Opening her eyes, she massaged her temples as she felt a headache begin to brew. She would never find out how he would treat her if she didn’t give him a chance, would she? She’d never discover if their relationship would stand the test of time or be destined to end up as another scar across her heart if she didn’t take the leap of faith.

And she wouldn’t know if she was too late to change her mind unless she spoke to him. Not yet though. She had the Christmas market to prepare for. The question about her and Rowan would have to wait to be answered another day. Or perhaps if she had enough time after she’d checked her stock was ready she could pop over and find him beforehand.

22

‘Do you have any more of these designs, please? Or anything else with the two robins on?’

Scarlett blinked as a customer thrust a cushion cover depicting a snow scene with two robins perching on a branch beneath her nose, breaking her view of Rowan selling his coffee bags from his stall next to her. Turning her attention to the woman in front of her, she smiled. ‘Hi, yes, I should have. Just give me one moment and I’ll take a look.’

‘Thank you. My gran loves robins, and these will just be perfect for her front room.’ The woman pushed a couple of framed prints to one side before plonking down her large handbag on the stall and rummaging through it.

Leaning beneath the table, Scarlett quickly searched in the large plastic boxes she’d stashed beneath with extra items in. She’d always believed in the philosophy of bringing more than she needed, and she was glad she had because Meadowfield’s Christmas market was heaving with visitors. When Jill had promised her there’d be a good turnout, Scarlett had expected a couple of hundred people but it had only opened to the public an hour and a half ago and she’d already had to dip into her overflow stash for Christmas mugs and coasters. ‘I have this one. It has a slightly different background, but still has the two robins.’

The woman picked it up, inspecting the design on the front before turning it over to check the back and handing it back to Scarlett. ‘I’ll take it, please. I think they’re similar enough.’

‘Okay, great.’ Scarlett folded the cushion covers in quarters before slipping them both into a bag and taking the woman’s money. ‘Sometimes it’s nice to have cushions a little different, I think.’

‘Yes, I’m sure it will add to the charm of her front room.’ Taking the bag, the woman stalked off.

Scarlett shook her head. She was pretty certain the ‘charm’ comment hadn’t been particularly complimentary to her work, but who cared? She’d still sold two cushion covers and hopefully they’d be more appreciated by the recipient of the gift. A loud burst of laughter caught her attention, and she looked across towards the ice rink beneath the tree. A group of teenagers was clinging to the railings as they inched slowly around the rink. She grinned; she remembered only too well her first – and last – attempt at ice skating. It had been just before her mum had passed away, so she must have been about seven years old, and her parents had taken her away to Bath for a long weekend before Christmas. She remembered it vividly because she’d been allowed to have the Friday and Monday off school, and her dad had told her to play ‘sick’ on the Thursday to avoid suspicion. She’d taken that task in hand only too well and been sent home the Thursday lunchtime, giving her extra time to pack in anticipation for their weekend holiday away.

She absentmindedly ran her forefinger across the small scar on her thumb, her lasting reminder of her attempt at ice skating. She’d do anything to go back to that weekend right now. Back to when all she had to worry about was trying to decide what to write on her Christmas list to Santa or what colour she should paint the small terracotta plant pot her dad had helped her choose to buy her mum for Christmas. Not that it had mattered. Her mum had never received the plant pot, never potted the flowers for spring, never exclaimed how detailed the design was.

A few years later, Scarlett had found that plant pot again stashed beneath her bed, right up against the wall, and she’d painted it, decorated it with cats, cake and magnolia trees, all her mum’s favourite things, before planting a rose bush inside and setting it beside her mum’s headstone. Scarlett had liked to think her mum would have approved of her choice in the end.

‘You look deep in thought.’ Rowan’s voice interrupted her memories, drawing her back to the now.