Page 56 of We Chase Shadows

‘One in the morning,’ says Adam. ‘I’ve been waiting up for you to call, eating the world’s most expensive bag of cashew nuts and watching The Big Bang Theory in Arabic.’

Amy woke in Paula and Grant’s house one night, this was perhaps a month before they were due to go on holiday. She heard voices raised in anger. That was the static that accompanied every day of her early life. The thing she thought she had left behind. Now it was Paula’s and Grant’s voices.

‘It’s lovely to hear your voice,’ says Amy.

Some children like to block out the noise; Amy had always walked towards it, wanting information. She crept out of the bedroom and sat on the third step down from the landing. The carpet was a dirty beige with small blue flowers. She heard Grant shouting at Paula. Shouting about money. Paula quietened him down, and Amy shuffled down a few more steps.

‘Are you buying something or selling something?’ Amy asks.

‘We’re consulting on integrating AI capabilities into energy-generation technologies,’ says Adam. ‘So, you can imagine, there’s a real party atmosphere here.’

Grant was telling Paula she was getting too attached to Amy. Taking her on holiday for goodness’ sake? Lanzarote? What will the girl think? Paula said something that Amy couldn’t catch, and Grant barked a laugh and said if she thought they could afford three teenaged girls in the same house, then she had a screw loose.

‘Is AI going to kill us all by the way?’ Amy asks.

‘Probably not,’ says Adam. ‘But maybe. That seems to be the consensus.’

‘Is there anything I can do about it?’ asks Amy.

‘Not really,’ says Adam. ‘It’s like the tide now, it’ll go where it wants. Just stay away from the cliffs.’

Amy packed a small bag the next day and disappeared on her school lunch break. The police caught up with her soon enough, and it was decided – who knows who by – to return her to the children’s home. She didn’t go to Lanzarote, has never been, didn’t even go on a plane until she was eighteen. She never saw Paula and Grant again.

‘But maybe AI will cure cancer?’ says Amy.

‘Yep,’ says Adam. ‘It might do that.’

‘Swings and roundabouts, then,’ says Amy.

‘Swings and roundabouts,’ agrees Adam.

The other thing Amy decided to do was never to dream again. Why take that risk? Once you’re in the clouds, it’s a long way down.

‘They’ve got nice robes here,’ says Adam. ‘Supposed to be his and hers, but they’re the same size.’

Amy wishes, just for one day, that she could be normal.

And listen, sure, she’s read enough Instagram posts to know that no one is ‘normal’.

Except they are, aren’t they? Plenty of people are. Plenty of people find their way through life. They love, they’re loved, they face the world with eyes wide open. There are normal people. People riding bikes through parks and sitting in the sun with a pint and a paper.

But not Amy.

Amy will always be that nine-year-old girl sitting on the third step down, tracing tiny blue flowers with her finger while her world falls apart.

‘I miss you,’ says Adam. ‘I’m so pleased you rang.’

‘Thank you for putting up with me.’

They should be together for their anniversary. That would be the normal thing to do.

‘Nothing to put up with,’ says Adam. ‘Enjoy your slippers.’

They blow each other kisses until, as always, Adam lets Amy end the call.

30

Steve has never been to Sweden before. He’s heard of Sweden, who hasn’t, but there has never been any real need for him to actually get himself involved in the place. Debbie used to love ABBA, Steve himself has a lot of time for IKEA, and Yngwie Malmsteen is one of the great heavy metal guitarists, but none of these things have tempted him to visit.