Page 31 of Defensive Indifference

“Hey, what’s up?” Koa’s answer doesn’t set my nerves at ease at all. In fact, he answers as if we’re close friends and he’s been expecting to hear from me. Which is odd, considering he sort of disappeared.

“Um, I’m really sorry to bother you, but I kind of…Uh…Actually, never—”

“What’s wrong, Evalina? You sound stressed.” There’s shuffling on his end, and I’m pretty sure I hear the clinking of keys.

“Well…” I hesitate. I don’t want to ask him to drive all the way here just to take me to the bakery. He’s probably got practice or something anyway.

“Spit it out. I’m already in my car, so you might as well tell me where I need to go to help you with whatever you need help with.”

“I really hate to bother you, but I don’t have anyone else to call. My car caught on fire and now I’m—”

“What?” he shouts. “Where are you? I’m on my way.”

“At the convenience store where…uh…the one where they took your car.”

“Okay, go inside and wait. Tell Tony I’m on my way to get you, and he’ll look out for you.”

His car revs up, and for the first time in two hours, I feel okay. I have no idea what I’m going to do for a car, but at least I’m not stuck walking all the way back to work down a busy road. I hadn’t even considered my own safety until Koa mentioned it. “I will. Thank you so much.”

“No problem. I’ll be there in five.” He disconnects the call and I head inside.

The attendant nods. “How can I help you?”

I bite back a retort that perhaps he could have helped me with my car that was on fire and point outside instead. “My car broke down, and I’m waiting here for Koa Keaton to pick me up. Are you Tony?”

“Sure enough. I’m sorry, we were busy in here, and I didn’t see you pull in. Want me to take a peek at it?”

I lick my lips, unsure what to do. I highly doubt it can be fixed, so I squash the sliver of hope he offers and shake my head. “It was on fire, so I don’t think it’s an easy fix.”

Tony’s eyes widen even as he shakes his head. “Yeah, well, feel free to hang out here. If Koa said he’ll be here, he will be.”

“Thanks.” I wander the aisles while I wait, but it’s only a few minutes before the telltale sign that Koa has arrived echoes in the little shop. He pulls into the lot in yet another sports car I have never seen before and parks alongside the store. I wave to Tony and head outside. My stomach churns and my palms sweat. Why does the mere thought of seeing this man again turn me inside out?

“Hey, hop in. I called a friend of mine to come get your car.”

I slide into the seat and it hits me what he said. “Wait, I can’t afford an expensive tow.”

“No worries. I’ve got it. He owes me a favor.”

Koa’s passive attitude about this hits me all wrong. I can’t say why, honestly, but it feels like he sees this situation as miniscule, certainly nothing he would ever think about worrying over. To me, though, this is the final blow. I’ll never be able to buy another car, not for months, and not without major help with financing.

“Looks like you’ll need a new car. Probably for the best. That old clunker clearly is not safe.” Koa turns out of the lot and merges onto the main road.

My cheeks flame. Maybe I’m embarrassed because that was the best car I could afford, and now I’m sitting in the passenger seat of a car that costs more than my whole life. Biting my tongue, I try not to lash out. I just told my son he couldn’t solve problems with violence, but for some unknown reason, Koa has me wanting to smack him. It’s not his fault, I guess, that he was born with nothing to ever want.

“What were you doing out here anyway? Isn’t the shop open?” Koa glances at me, brow raised in question.

“I had to pick Dustin up. He got in a fight.” Why did I tell him that? He’s just going to want the details.

“A fight? Why?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I snap. Why am I being so mean to him? He’s the only person I had to call, he dropped everything to help me, and now I’m so frustrated with him I can’t stand it. My skin itches. Annoyance bubbles beneath the surface. I’m embarrassed, it’s hot enough to boil eggs outside, my car is a hunk of junk, and my son is sitting at a neighbor’s house worried that he’ll become a social deviant. I can’t stand it anymore. Everything crushes in on me, trapping me beneath rubble I’ll never escape. I can’t breathe.

I’m suffocating.

Koa says something but I don’t hear him.

All I can think about is air.