Page 38 of The Scottish Island Inn

‘I can understand that.’ Dom picked up a piece of the fruit bread, tearing it in half. ‘Did I ever tell you about what happened with Farid’s family when we moved up here?’

‘No, I don’t think so.’ Sorrel took another sip of her coffee, which was strong and chocolatey.

‘Hm. Well, my family have always been very supportive about me being gay. I do joke about my nieces and their spray tans, but it’s Essex after all. My eldest brother and his family come up to stay every year, and I keep up with Mum and Dad on the phone. My sister does a great job looking after them, and we do pop down when we can; it’s just a long way. They’ve all always loved Farid. I mean, who wouldn’t?’

‘Absolutely. Farid is so lovely.’

‘I know. I’m so lucky.’ Dom smiled affectionately. ‘Well, unfortunately, Farid’s family were not so supportive when he came out. They were pretty unhappy about it, actually. I can’t say that it was a religious thing, per se. Perhaps it was more cultural; his dad’s very traditional. But his dad grew up in Afghanistan, and they moved here, I suppose in the Eighties. I don’t even think Afghanistan was very rigid at that time, but they had a lot of regime changes, and anyway, his dad didn’t approve of having a gay son.’ Dom sighed. ‘I don’t think he understood that Farid grew up in the UK; he went to school in London, it was all very mixed. Being gay was okay by the time Farid was a teenager in the 2000s – I mean, don’t get me wrong, we still didn’t always feel comfortable kissing on the bus or holding hands in some places. Sad to say, it’s still like that, now and again.’ He looked sad.

‘But when Farid and I started seeing each other, and it got serious, there were ructions. His family threatened to disown him. He moved in with me in Essex, and then about a year after that, we decided to make a clean break and move up here. They haven’t spoken to him since.’

‘Oh, no! I’m so sorry! That’s awful!’ Sorrel was shocked. ‘I can’t believe that in this day and age that would still happen!’

‘I know, poppet. Seems unbelievable, doesn’t it? Yet, that’s the reality. I think that’s why friends have always meant so much to us – partly because we’re both a long way from home, and partly, for Farid, well – he needs a support system. We make it work, of course. But I always tried my hardest to make sure that we fitted in when we got here, and that people loved Farid. Because he’s so bloody marvellous. I was damned if I was going to let him ever feel lonely.’

‘You do a good job of it. I had no idea.’ Sorrel hugged her friend. ‘Dom, your heart is big enough for ten people, you know.’

‘Oh, I’m just me, darling. But I suppose the point of me telling you that is to say, don’t take family for granted. I know you have a lovely big family, and I’m sure they’ll all come round, even if chats are needed with some of them. This was big news. Difficult news.’ He stroked his beard for a moment. ‘I suppose I’m just always of the opinion that bridges should be built, rather than burned. So, I think you should go and find your real father, if that’s something you want to do. When you feel ready, of course,’ he added. ‘You can never have too much family. Well. You can never have too much family that love you and want the best for you. Maybe this guy wants the best for you, too.’

‘Maybe. I’ll think about it.’ Sorrel nodded. ‘It’s just a lot to process.’

‘I’m sure! You need to do these things in your own time.’ Dom patted her on the arm. ‘I tell you, life isn’t easy, is it? I put on a smile every day in the café, but there are days I definitely don’t want to. Some days, I want to just point Margaret at the horizon and not come back. And I live a near-perfect life on a Scottish island, running a bloody award-winning café with the love of my life, if you please.’ Dom snorted. ‘On days like those, I have to take myself in hand and remember the horrors that other people have to endure.’

‘You’re right. I should put it in perspective.’ Sorrel took in a deep breath and let it out again. Just the action of talking to Dom was helping her feel a little more grounded; it was good not to have everything stewing in her own mind.

‘No – not at all. Your problem is a genuinely difficult one, darling. But I suppose, also be thankful for what you do have, if you can.’ He shrugged. ‘There. That’s all the Pollyanna advice for the day. Done. Zipped. Apart from to say, Farid and I are always here, if you need an ear, a shoulder to cry on, or anything else.’

‘Thank you. That’s really nice of you.’ Sorrel leaned back on the sofa. ‘In the meantime – have I told you about the jewelled dagger Tam and I found at the Inn?’

‘Oh, my days. No? Sorrel Balhennie, you are full of secrets.’ Dom gulped down a mouthful of bannock in surprise. ‘Tell me everything. Not least where things are with Tam Blackwood. You two should be together, you know. You looked so lovely together at dinner the other night.’

‘Oh, stop it. I know that was a set-up.’ Sorrel rolled her eyes. ‘We’re just friends.’

‘You don’t need to be. He’s single now.’ Dom crossed himself. ‘Dear Beth, rest in peace. She was a lovely girl. You would have really liked her.’

Sorrel nodded. ‘He said that they were good friends with you two.’

‘Oh, yes. We made up a four quite often. They were lovely together. She absolutely adored him. And he was so good to her. Especially at the end.’ Tears welled up in Dom’s eyes. ‘Oh, don’t mind me. It was just so sad, that’s all. Cut down in the prime of life. You never think you’ll see it happen. Another reason to live every day to the fullest.’ He looked at her meaningfully.

‘Dom. Tam and I are not seeing each other.’

‘But you could.’

‘Yes… we could, technically. But it’s complicated.’ Sorrel sighed.

‘Complicated, shpomplicated. He still loves you. I saw it in his eyes.’

‘I don’t think he does, Dom.’ Sorrel felt the need to be sensible; to minimise the fantasy that Dom was creating, even though there was a part of her that wanted to buy into it. She tried not to think about how she felt when Tam was nearby, how it felt when they touched, how he felt like home to her.

She’d ruined all of that.

‘It’s in the past,’ she added. ‘I’m not about to mess him around another time. I don’t even know what I’m doing with my life, whether I’m going to stay here for any amount of time. I can’t start something with him and then leave again.’

‘So, you want to start something?’ Dom wasn’t letting it go, clearly.

‘No! Oh, I don’t know. I mean, I have feelings for him. Of course I do. But… I just can’t, right now. There’s too much going on,’ she protested.

‘Okay. I can understand that. But, darling. If you could have seen how he looked when you walked in at dinner the other night. Farid and I both saw it. The look of love.’