Page 34 of The Scottish Island Inn

And I just couldn’t.

It took me so long to come to terms with not being Dad’s real daughter. It was like a wound I lived with for years, and then, slowly, over time, it got a little better. I could go a few days without thinking about it. I concentrated on my work, and it was successful. I had a life with Simon. But most days, I felt like rolling up into a ball and crying. I did do that, a lot of the time. Simon thought I had mental health difficulties. I didn’t – well, not in the sense of being clinically depressed. I was grieving a loss.

But I didn’t tell him. I guess I didn’t trust him. I trained myself not to trust anyone. I’m slowly learning that I don’t have to do that any more.

I trust you, Blue, and I trust all of our sisters. That’s why I told you my secret.

I know that it will take you some time to trust me again, and I understand. But I wanted to let you know that I’m here, that I love you, and that I never forgot you. I never could.

Sorrel xx

When she looked up from typing, Tam was organising eight coffees into two cardboard holders.

‘Okay?’ he asked.

‘Yeah. I was just emailing Bluebell. Per your advice.’

‘Oh. Glad to hear it.’ He grinned. ‘I would never be so arrogant to say that I was always right, but I am rarely wrong.’

‘Haha. I’ll refrain from judgement.’ Sorrel took one of the holders, and they started walking back along the road.

‘Listen, Sorrel… I was wondering,’ Tam said as they walked along companionably. There was a smell of jasmine in the summer afternoon; gulls called to each other in the distance. ‘Umm…’ He sounded suddenly nervous.

‘What?’ she asked, gently.

‘Oh, it’s nothing… just… I was wondering… It’s nice, isn’t it, chatting and hanging out?’ He glanced at her shyly.

‘Yes. It is,’ she replied.

‘Hm. Well. I was wondering… would you go out with me? For a drink, or something?’ He stumbled over his words. ‘For old times’ sake, maybe. I just…’ he trailed off again.

‘Tam. I don’t know if that’s a great idea,’ Sorrel said, gently. ‘It is really lovely to see you again. But I’ve just ended a relationship. I’m a bit… fraught at the moment. That and…’

‘Sister stuff. I know. I meant as friends. Me and you. Coffee, then.’

‘Not a date?’ She smiled at his discomfiture.

‘No. Definitely not.’ He met her eyes and smiled that same warm smile that she had fallen in love with, all those years ago.

‘Well, I do like coffee.’ She smiled back. ‘Maybe I’ll just see you at Muriel’s one of these days. I’ll let you buy me one.’

‘I just bought you one.’ He nodded at the tray she was carrying.

‘Another one, then,’ she chuckled.

‘Okay.’ He looked shy, as if he was sixteen again, and about to ask her if she’d like to come with him to see the shooting stars outside. And despite herself, Sorrel’s heart melted.

EIGHTEEN

Sorrel spent the next morning in the castle’s records room, searching for references to Emma Gordon. Since she and Tam had found the letter and the old ribbon, Emma had been on her mind. Who was this woman, and why would those references to her be hidden at the Balhennie Inn?

It was weird, not being at work. Sorrel was used to being busy; she’d run her business with Simon for years, and the fact that everything was on a freeze while they worked out whatever was going to happen next was strange.

Bluebell hadn’t replied to the email yet. Sorrel suspected that she’d read it, because Bluebell was Bluebell, and that meant that she was neat-minded and obsessive; she wouldn’t ordinarily have let an email go unanswered even for an hour. Clearly, her sister was still unsure about what to say.

Sorrel had texted Heather to ask how Bluebell was, and Heather had replied,

She’s okay. Quiet. Leave her be for a while.