Page 37 of You + Me – Against the World

Gone again.

Vadim logs off without giving me time to reply. Without giving me time to breathe. To take in that last sentence.

To get my heart beating again.

13

When I get to campus on Monday morning, I keep close to the walls. I scan the faces of my fellow students, looking for a sign, for some indication that I’ve been exposed. A trace of the compromising photo in mocking, suspicious, disapproving, or malicious expressions. But I see nothing.

Before classes start, I go looking for Timothy. I have to speak to him soon. Before someone talks to him, before he hears the rumor. I want to be the one to tell him first, to look him in the eye and say that it’s over.

I find him. I tell him. I tremble a little. And I apologize.

Tim takes it without flinching. His gaze is hard and dark. He steps back when I try to touch his arm to soothe him. He hasn’t uttered a word since I started the speech I had rehearsed in my head: It’s me, not him. I need freedom. To find myself. To find my place in the world. I want to stay friends.

He finally breaks his silence to ask the question I dread the most. “Is it Vadim Arcadi?”

“It’s more complicated than that, Tim. It’s—”

“Don’t treat me like an idiot, Alma. I heard he was at your place yesterday.”

“Yeah, he’s my partner for the short film project. I told you that.”

“But you never told me you invited him over.”

“I’m suffocating, do you understand? You, my family… You’re all watching me. I have to report to you all and justify every move I make.”

“I’m keeping an eye on you because you’re acting crazy! You’re skipping classes, coming home late, lying to me, sleeping who knows where. You don’t dress like you used to. Even the way you speak has changed.”

“I don’t know what to say except that I’m sorry, Tim. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“I don’t want your apologies. I was going to break up with you anyway. Do you really think I want to be with a girl who doesn’t give a damn about me, barely even looks at me, feels nothing, and behaves like this? The whole campus is talking about you behind your back. Do you know what they’re saying about you?”

“I don’t care, Tim. You can all say and think whatever you want.”

But the photo flashes back into my mind—terrible, impossible to hold back—as if it was a giant poster pinned up at the campus entrance.

Who knows?

Who saw it?

Who took it?

“Think carefully, Alma. About the consequences your actions have. For yourself, but for your family too.”

“See? You’re all trying to mold me, to shove me into a box where I can’t breathe! No matter what I want, what my dreams are, you dictate my behavior and expect me to just smile and bend to your will.”

“Yes, because you’ve changed since you’ve been hanging out with him!”

“Maybe I want to change!”

“Listen to me carefully, Alma.” Tim lowers his voice, comes closer, and grabs my arm. “If I find out something is going on between you two, if I hear something I don’t like—”

“Let her go,” a voice says behind me.

That voice. His voice. A mix of nonchalance and authority. Deep and soft. Warm and steady. A voice that doesn’t need to shout to be heard.

“What the hell do you want?” Tim snaps, still holding my arm.