Page 116 of You + Me – Against the World

We hold each other tight for what feels like an eternity, wrapped up together, intertwined, sharing kisses. We breathe each other in, say that we love each other and that we can never be apart again.

Between declarations of love, Vadim continues his tongue-in-cheek list of all the things he wasn’t able to leave behind. I fail to make an appearance on the list, and it makes me laugh out loud.

I swear never to tell Felix, Keith, or anyone else why he came back. Why he never actually left.

For me.

After the euphoria of being reunited, a certain uneasiness takes hold of me. Of course, I’m thrilled to have the man of my dreams close to me, but I feel guilty. Guilty of getting in the way of his dream. A dream which, because of me, might never come true.

When you sacrifice yourself for someone you love, it’s hard—incredibly hard—but it’s something to be proud of. When it’s the other person who sacrifices themselves for you, you no longer get to be the noble one. All you can do is thank them, with a tear or a smile, and try to give something back—even if it isn’t much.

***

In the days that follow, I try to be the best girlfriend in the world, hoping to make Vadim happy every minute and every second of every day. But I think it just ends up annoying him, stifling and smothering him. He keeps telling me that he regrets nothing, that he belongs here, and that I don’t need to do all this. I try to believe him, and I take a step back.

I let him live his life without interfering too much. He sees Felix more and more often, but I don’t remind him of his commitments to Keith. I don’t even complain when he spends time with Cheyenne after his community service hours. He cancels a second meeting with Roman at the last minute, and I don’t try to talk him out of it. He isn’t making much progress on his film, too busy with castings and photo shoots, but I never question his priorities.

Every day, I understand a little more what my mother meant. To love is also to sacrifice. It’s letting the other person live, move in another direction, and make mistakes sometimes, even if it costs us.

It’s the price I pay to have Vadim by my side.

***

“Hi, Alma.”

Classes are finished for the day, and I’m about to head home, when Timothy catches up to me and taps my arm. We haven’t really spoken for months; I’d almost forgotten all about him. Yet he hasn’t changed a bit. He’s still just as tall, muscular, blond, and well-groomed as ever.

“How are you doing?”

“Hi, Tim. Good, and you?”

The usual polite exchange.

“I’m all good. What’s new?”

“Not much. You?”

The conversation has barely started, and it’s already running out of steam.

“I heard things weren’t going so well. That’s why I’m asking.”

“Ah. You heard wrong then; everything’s fine.” I shrug with a smile.

“I know we didn’t end things on very good terms, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.”

“That’s nice, but you don’t need to worry. I’m fine.”

He shifts a little, uncomfortable. “Actually, there’s a rumor going around campus. About Arcadi and you. Apparently, he wanted to leave you and go back to Russia…”

“Well, you can tell everyone on campus that Vadim was supposed to go there for a shoot. He landed a role in a Yuri Karaïev film. You probably don’t know who that is, but feel free to google him. Anyway, in the end, he decided not to take it. For a lot of reasons.”

“Exactly. It seems he stayed here for a girl.”

“A girl?”

“A brunette. Not exactly someone you’d want to associate with.”

His smug little expression makes me want to shove his basketball down his throat.