Page 45 of Wicked Brutal

Yesterday this secret belonged to two people. Tonight it belongs to a family that has already survived Pennington, and Lucian, and Hartley, and a warehouse, and a trial, and a crash — more funerals and courtrooms and hospital rooms than any of us should know the inside of before graduation. They’ve learned how to do this. How to close ranks around a person without suffocating them. How to carry something heavy without taking it away from the person it belongs to.

Roman still has Tobias. Tremblay still thinks he’s getting Ally. Ally still has to walk back into that house tonight, and tomorrow morning I still have to pass her in an Edgewood hallway like she means nothing to me. Nothing is fixed. We don’t have enough. Not yet.

But for the first time since Valentine’s Day, the baby doesn’t feel like a secret we’re straining to keep alive.

It feels like ours. All of ours.

By lunch, I’m exhausted.

Not physically, although apparently growing a person is enough work that my body has decided eleven in the morning is an acceptable time to consider a nap. I’m exhausted from acting normal.

Friday night, Ryan and I told everyone I was pregnant. Which sounds significantly less insane when I leave out the part where everyone somehow became half of Edgewood’s most powerful families in the span of a few hours.

Saturday morning, I woke up waiting for Dad to know. He didn’t. Sunday, I waited again. Nothing. This morning, I ate breakfast across from him while he read emails on his phone and complained to Mom about something happening at work. Nobody had called him. Nobody had tipped him off. Nobody had made a move without me knowing.

For the first time in my life, I gave people information they could use to control me and they just... didn’t.

I’m still thinking about that when I carry my lunch into the library. I usually eat with everyone. Usually being a fairly recent development. Today I want quiet.

I take my usual route toward the back, drop into a chair, and pull it out again. My phone buzzes beside my hand.

Ryan: Eat.

hello to you too

Ryan: hi baby

Ryan: eat

so romantic

Ryan: i was romantic last night

I bite the inside of my cheek.

debatable

Ryan: liar

i don’t remember being especially impressed

Three dots appear. Disappear. Appear again.

Ryan: keep talking shit

what are you gonna do about it harrington

Ryan: right now? nothing

Ryan: unfortunately we’re at school and apparently i’m not allowed to drag you into the equipment room anymore

I glance toward the aisle even though nobody can see my phone.

ANYMORE???

Ryan: poor choice of words

extremely