Page 362 of Wicked Brutal

Arthur rises when he’s done. He doesn’t approach the bench. He stays beside me. “Alison’s future is unsettled.” I look at him. “So is every eighteen-year-old’s. The difference is that Alison has spent six years making sure Tobias’s wasn’t.”

My eyes fill.

“The defense keeps returning to what Alison doesn’t own. Her name isn’t on the Harrington house. Fine.” He picks up one of Tobias’s school records. “But her name is here.” Another. “And here.” The pediatric records. “Here.” The dental. “Here.” He sets them down. “Her name has been beside Tobias’s for six years. The Harringtons’ support matters because it establishes stability. It didn’t create Alison’s relationship with Tobias.” His voice quiets. “Jane did. Tobias did. And Alison did — every single time that little boy reached for her and she reached back.”

I can’t stop crying now.

Arthur faces the judge. “Roman O’Toole asks this court to preserve his authority over Tobias while he sits in a cell awaiting trial for the murder of Tobias’s mother. He asks the court to treat Alison’s age as more important than six years of evidence. And he asks the court to disregard Jane O’Toole’s wishes because she couldn’t predict the future.” He looks down at the will. “She predicted one thing.” He touches the page. “That if she couldn’t be there, Tobias would need his sister.”

He sits.

The judge reads. And reads. And reads. No one moves. Finally he looks at me. “Ms. O’Toole.” I stand. Arthur starts to rise with me. “I’d like to hear from her.”

Arthur sits. Now it’s just me.

“Do you understand what you’re asking me to give you?”

“Yes, Your Honor.”

“I’m not asking whether you love Tobias. If I award you full custody, you’re responsible for him. Education. Medical care. Housing. Safety. Every daily need. Decisions that shape the rest of his childhood. And you’re eighteen. Pregnant. Finishing high school.”

I answer yes to all of it. He watches me.

“And despite what Mr. Harrington testified, the defense is right about one thing. The support around you isn’t legally yours. If the Harringtons changed their minds tomorrow — what would you do?”

I don’t have to think. “I’d take care of Tobias.”

“How?”

“However I had to.”

“That isn’t an answer.”

I swallow. Then I give him one. “I’d work. I’d finish school. I’d apply for every program I qualified for. I’d ask Arthur what I needed to file. I’d find somewhere we could afford, and I’d take whatever help there was until I didn’t need it anymore.”

“While raising a newborn? And Tobias?”

“Yes.”

“You make that sound simple.”

“It wouldn’t be.” My hand settles over my stomach. “It would probably be really fucking hard.” Arthur closes his eyes. “Sorry.”

The judge almost smiles. “Continue.”

I breathe. “But Tobias has already been hard sometimes. Babies are hard. Six-year-olds are hard. He gets sick. He has nightmares. He argues about brushing his teeth and loses things five minutes after I hand them to him.” My eyes fill. “I’ve never taken care of him because it was easy.”

I look down at Mom’s will. “I’ve been doing it since he was born. I know his medications. I know his teachers. I know what he won’t eat and which cup he wants when his stomach hurts. I know which night-light he needs when he’s scared.”

Ryan sniffles behind me.

“I know when he’s lying, and when he’s trying not to cry. And now I know that when he climbs into my bed in the middle of the night, he isn’t just having a nightmare.” My throat closes. “He’s checking that I’m still there.” Cassandra cries behind me. “I don’t send him away.”

“What do you do?”

“I move over.”

The judge looks down for a moment. Then back at me. “The Harringtons make everything easier?”