Page 106 of Modern Romance September 2026 Books 5-8

He sets his book aside. “No. It doesn’t.”

“What’s one thing you wish you would’ve had. One really normal thing.”

“I’m not sure I understand,” he says.

“Like…the kids at my school used to all get together and go sledding. There was a hill that was in the neighborhood, and they used to go up there with sleds and bear spray and spend hours playing together. But I was never really welcomed into that. I was weird, and people knew it. Not that I was the only kid whose parents had drug problems. But, we were the weird kids. And then there were the kids that played together. I remember watching Saturday-morning cartoons, and so many of them had groups of friends. I wanted to be part of one. And then, I quit wanting it, because it hurt too badly. But if there’s one thing I wish I could’ve had, it’s a really normal day after school. Where I just got to be one of the other kids. Instead of being so unbearably conscious of the fact that my life was broken.” I look up at him. “What about you?”

He looks up. “I wish my dad had taught me to ride a bike. You see that in movies all the time. They live in a neighborhood, not a compound. Not under security. And their dad holds them up on the bike, until they’re riding by themselves, and they don’t even realize it. And he’s proud. And he doesn’t try to make a man out of you by making you endure physical pain.”

His eyes meet mine. There’s something fractured there. Broken. And I want to fix it.

I want to promise him that we can do that. But I don’t know if we can. But maybe, in this bubble, we can talk about it. Pretend.

This feeling of…need. Love swells inside of me as I think about our baby and I want to cry, because I didn’t want to feel this, and right now I’m feeling everything.

“Maybe we can get a basketball hoop and put it in the driveway,” I say, my throat tight.

He laughs. I walk toward him, and sit down slowly on his lap. “Get a bike. Teach them to ride it around the neighborhood. If there’s snow in this hypothetical neighborhood, we can sled. We can take all the neighborhood kids.” I laugh. “And then they can all come over to our house afterward and drink hot chocolate. And apple cider. And…and it’ll be all the childhood wonder we never had.” I’m trying not to cry, and he’s not saying anything. He doesn’t. Instead, he grabs hold of my face, and kisses me. There’s something desperate in it. And I want to answer it. I want to give it to him.

I want this. And it’s so impossible. Because both of us are so broken in so many ways, how could we ever have that normal life? These things that other people take for granted are as impossible for us as going to the moon.

Especially now. Especially now that I’m being hunted, and he’s a wanted man.

So we kiss, because there’s nothing else to say. Because this is a fantasy, and our bodies, us, this, that’s real.

He strips my clothes off, and I welcome it.

I have been so aware of all the things that clothes can do for you. The way that they can make people perceive you, but with him, I’m very aware of my body. How much I can do with it. How much I can make him want me. How much power I have within it.

And it isn’t manipulation; it’s shared. And I love it.

He moves his hands up my body, cups my breasts, I gasp. I tear his clothes off of him. I’ll never get tired of this. Of the ink on his skin, his muscles, all that hard, hot skin. Mine. He’s mine.

Maybe it’s okay that we can’t have those normal, happy things. Maybe they’re not meant for us. But we have this, and maybe a whole bunch of other people have never experienced passion like this. Maybe that’s the thing that we get. This thing with sharp claws and teeth that drives us both insane.

That makes me forget who I’m supposed to be. Except part of me wants it all. And I don’t know what to do with that.

Greedy girl.

I want him, in my arms, in my bed, I want my baby, I want sledding and snowmen and apple cider, and a fashion career, and nobody gets to have all of those things.

Especially not a girl from Nowhere, Alaska, who couldn’t even make friends in her class.

But it doesn’t stop me from wanting it all the same.

I shift, and take him inside my body, and I ride him, until we’re both breathless. Until he calls out my name. Until I feel like I’m going to die from the pleasure of it. And then my nails dig into his skin and I reach the peak, collapsing against him.

I can barely breathe. And I’m okay with that.

His phone rings, and shatters the moment. He takes it, even though he’s still half dressed, and I’m naked on top of him.

“What?”

His eyes go blank. “Good. It’s done, then. Yes. Just give me a moment to make a phone call.”

He hangs the phone up.

“What is it?”