Page 77 of Don’t Forget Me

The perfect breakfast with the most beautiful man I’d ever known.

This was the ideal life that I’d always dreamed of. A good breakfast with a man that I love.

Love? Did I really just think that?

Did I love Ezra?

I loved Ezra…

I was in love with Ezra.

There. I admitted it. I loved Ezra, I was in love with him, and I never stopped. I had loved him at seventeen, and I yearned for him even more at twenty-two.

But what was I to do with this? Should I have told him? No, I couldn’t tell him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, snapping me out of the whirlwind in my mind.

“Nothing,” I began. “Why do you ask?”

“The expression on your face says otherwise,” Ezra observed.

I shook my head. I was not about to ruin what we had going on here. He sat in the seat beside me, taking my hands in his. They’d been warm and soft, but also rough and strong. I couldn’t even bring myself to look at him. His face. The face that had haunted me for so long.

At night, before closing my eyes, I’d imagine a million different ways that we would reunite. In different scenarios, I would slap him for not fighting for me. In some of them, I would see him and run into his embrace. In others, I would kiss him as if he were the last breath I would be inhaling. There was a part of me that wished to do all three. Preferably the last two. The first one was only because I missed him so much.

“Look, I know it’s been a little weird between us because of everything. I know I made a mistake in the past. But I’ve changed, I can promise you that. And I know my words won’t ever be enough for you to trust me again, so let me prove that to you with my actions. I didn’t ask you to stay the night because I pitied you, but because I wanted to have a chance to show you that I’m not the same person that I used to be.”

My heart clenched at his heartache, which showed through the tears in his eyes. “Ezra, you don’t have to⁠—”

Ezra’s grasp tightened around my fingers, gently.

“Yes, I do, Lysandra. I’m sorry. I know that I have an infinite amount of sins, yet my greatest regret has always been breaking your heart.”

The flashes of that day came back to me. My anger when I found out, the ringing in my ears when I’d pushed him, the remorse over his expression. Sometimes I wished I hadn’t transferred to Lachlan. Perhaps my life would’ve been different. Perhaps I could’ve found it in myself to forgive him.

The course of my life had been much better since I moved to Scotland, but there had always been a missing piece. Now I realized that the last piece of the puzzle had been Ezra.

Nonetheless, I couldn’t find the courage to tell him. How pathetic of me to be hung up on a boy I met when I was only a teenager.

“It’s okay. I forgive you,” I said.

“Really?” he asked. I noticed the tension leaving his shoulders and the joy entering his blue gaze.

“But it’s going to take some time for me to be able to trust you again,” I admitted.

His joy seemed to dim. I didn’t want to be the reason the smile on his face fell, but I couldn’t bring myself to lie to him.

He sighed. “I understand. And you should take all the time you need.”

“Thank you.”

He squeezed my hand.

“Also, I haven’t been able to find anyone else to have conversations about the human soul quite like you.”

“So, that’s the only reason why you’re forgiving me?” he questioned, squinting at me.

“Of course, why else would I have any use for you?” I answered.