Page 138 of The October Arrangement

“No, you weren’t.” She walked out of the bathroom.

We went into the kitchen where Julian was eating pancakes. He was still in his pajamas.

“Why aren’t you dressed yet?” I asked him.

“I’m eating,” he said.

“You can eat in clothes.”

“I didn’t want to get syrup on them,” he said.

“Fair enough. But we’re leaving in thirty-five minutes.”

“I know.” He shoved the last piece of pancake in his mouth, jumped out of his chair, and ran out of the kitchen.

The last five years had gone by way too fast. It felt like just yesterday that I stepped off the elevator holding a car seat in each hand. I was terrified that somehow, we’d break them. I remembered their first teeth, and their first steps. Julian ran straight into the coffee table the first week he learned to walk, and Olivia said Daddy first before Mommy. And now they were attending kindergarten.

We stood outside the doors with the other parents. Some children were already crying. They didn’t want to go and were holding onto their parents for dear life. Not my kids. Nope. They were excited and couldn’t wait to get away from me like the little psychopaths they were.

The door opened, and their teacher proudly smiled as the kids stepped inside. We walked our children into the room.

“Hello, students and parents. Are we ready for a wonderful day? Parents, I need you to kiss your kids goodbye and exit through the door.”

I crouched down in front of Julian and hugged him first. “I love you, son.”

“I love you too, Daddy. Love you, Mommy.” He ran over when he saw one of his friends.

I crouched down in front of Olivia and pulled her into me. “Have a good day, princess. I love you.”

“Love you.” She blew us kisses and ran to Julian.

A sadness washed over me as Bella and I walked out of the room. I stopped and took one more look through the window.

“Come on, Daddy. They’re fine.” Bella grabbed my hand.

“What is wrong with you?” I asked. “You don’t seem the least bit sad.”

“I’m not. This is where they’re supposed to be. Look at how excited they were to start school. Besides, I have no idea what’s going on with you. You’re at the office all day and don’t even see them until you get home. Nothing’s changed, Simon.”

She had a point, but this felt different.

“I want another baby,” I blurted out as we climbed into the back seat of the car. Nick looked back at me.

“Are you crazy?” Bella laughed. “We have a boy and a girl. You really want to risk having another set of twins?”

When she put it that way, I’d changed my mind.

“You’re right. Two’s enough.”

Chapter Fifty

Thirteen Years Later

Simon

My children were going off to college, and I couldn’t believe it. It seemed like only yesterday that I was taking them to their first day of kindergarten. Was I okay? No. When I thought back to when they were five, I believed they were leaving me. It was ridiculous that I’d even thought that. But this. Going off to Harvard? They were leaving me for sure.

I had known this day was coming for eighteen years, and I still wasn’t fucking prepared for it.