Page 14 of None Of Your Business

I flinch.

“Does that hurt?”

“A little,” I answer honestly.

“That kind of joint pain isn’t unusual with hypermobile EDS, especially when the joint’s been under extra strain.”

By the time she finishes the exam, I’m sitting on the edge of the table, sore and tired.

“The overall picture is similar to last time. No significant deterioration, which is good.”

Some of the tension leaves my shoulders.

“But you’re still pushing past your limits,” she adds as she sits back down in her chair. “You’re accumulating interest on bad days you can’t afford to pay back.”

She says it without judgment, which is why I keep coming back to her.

“Physio?” she asks.

“Good. I’m doing more of the home exercises.”

She turns back to her monitor. “How’s work?”

My back goes rigid. I give her the bare minimum, which lasts only about four questions before she sees right through it.

“You answered every question about your health without hesitation,” she says. “I ask about painting, and I get one-word answers. Why are you avoiding the topic?”

I pick at a loose thread on my jeans. “I’m having a bit of a block.”

“How long?”

“Forty-three days.”

Her eyebrows lift. “Have you painted anything in that time?”

“This morning I painted a brown line.”

“What about the commissions?”

“Working on them.”

“And the show?”

“Three months away.”

“That’s soon.”

“Thank you, Doc. I hadn’t noticed.”

“Are you worried?”

“Yes, but I have time. Three months is plenty. I have finished pieces, and the commissions are separate. Once I get going again, I’ll be fine.”

“Once you get going? And if you don’t?”

“I will.”

She studies me, and I know she’s thinking about last year. She wasn’t my doctor then, but I’ve told her how badly the stress affected me physically.