Page 67 of The Heart’s Charge

No longer dragging her feet, she shoved her towel inside the pan and wiped every droplet dry. God would make things clear when he was good and ready. She just needed to wait and prepare her heart to accept whatever answer he provided.

“Need any help?”

Mark’s voice startled her. Katherine spun to face the man who refused to leave her thoughts. “Are you and Mr. Brooks finished talking?”

Mark nodded and crossed the kitchen to stand directly in front of her. “He left out the front. Going to walk the perimeter before heading to the barn for the night.” He took the pan from her hands and set it on the table behind him, the soft thud ringing with the volume of a fallen tree in her ears.

Heavens, but he was handsome. Odd to have such an observation jump into her head now, though. He’d always been handsome. Mark’s chiseled features and lean, muscular frame had been making young ladies swoon since their school days. And while she appreciated the way the Good Lord had put him together as much as the next woman, his looks were no different today than they’d been yesterday. So what had suddenly magnified her attraction to him?

His eyes, Katherine decided as Mark stepped even closer, causing her to tilt her head back to meet his gaze. She peered into those golden depths, and her pulse fluttered. They seemed . . . darker. More intense. More . . . focused. On her.

Mercy. How had she never noticed the way his eyes glowed? Like amber lit by the sun.

Mark reached for her. His hands cupped around her arms and slowly slid down until he captured her fingers within his own. “I love you, Kate.” His thumbs rubbed back and forth across the backs of her hands, sending delightful tingles dancing over her skin. “I want you to hear me say those words in an ordinary kitchen surrounded by ordinary items, not just in the middle of a railroad bridge while the tracks are still shaking from the train that nearly ran us down. Those words weren’t born from the momentary exhilaration of having cheated death. They were born from deep admiration. I don’t want you to doubt them, not even for a minute.”

“I don’t.” She gazed into his face, her heart swelling by the second as love for this man flooded her. “I love you too. Wherever you might be standing.”

He smiled, his eyes softening with a tenderness that weakened her knees. “I’m not leaving you this time,” he vowed. “Whatever hesitancy you have about accepting my proposal, we’ll work it out. Together.” He squeezed her hands, his voice tightening with fervency. “God reunited us, Kate. How else can you explain the two of us finding each other almost a decade after we parted, in a place half a continent away from where we started?”

“I can’t,” she said. “He did bring us together. Of that I am certain.” She swallowed, then looked away. “I’m just not sure why.”

His hold on her tightened. “I am. He’s giving us a second chance for a life together.”

“I’m not so sure.” Katherine tugged her hands free. This was too hard to talk about while he was so close. Touching her. All she could think about was their kiss and how badly she wanted to repeat it.

Retreating until her hips bumped against the dry sink, Katherine crossed her arms over her midsection and bit her lip. Mark didn’t follow. He just sat on the corner of the table and waited, his eyes a little duller than they’d been a moment ago. Her heart ached at the sight.

Give me strength, Lord. And wisdom.

“I made a promise. To Eliza. To God. That the children would come first.” She uncrossed her arms and clutched the edge of the counter, needing to feel something solid. “As much as I love you, Mark, I can’t abandon the work God has called me to. Even if Eliza were to find another partner willing to step into my shoes, leaving would haunt me. I made a commitment, and I don’t take it lightly. A vow made to the Lord is sacred, and only he can release me from it.”

“All right. So we stay here.”

Katherine blinked. Men didn’t follow their wives. Wives followed husbands. It was how marriage worked. Every marriage she’d ever seen, at least. Husbands provided for their families through the sweat of their brow. They made the decisions. Wives made the home, bore the babies, and served as helpmeets. They followed where their husbands led. Single women—widows and spinsters—could dictate the direction of their own lives. That was how she came to be at Harmony House, after all. But married women? They were subject to their husbands in all things. Scripture said so.

“For how long?” Katherine’s grip on the counter tightened. “A year? Two? What about the Horsemen? Will you just leave them behind? Staying sounds like a good idea now, but what happens if you start feeling trapped? Your resentment would shred my heart.” Her voice broke, and she turned her face away.

In an instant, he was in front of her, lifting her chin, seeking her gaze with his own. “I could never resent you, Kate. But it is about time you trust me to know my own mind.”

The gentle jab hurt, but it also made her realize she was doing the exact same thing she’d done ten years ago—assuming she knew what was best for him, and letting her fear of holding him back get in the way of holding him close. His face started to blur in front of her eyes. She blinked to clear her vision.

“We aren’t kids anymore,” he said. “Both of us understand that choices have consequences and sacrifices have rewards. It’s up to us to choose what we dwell on. Either what was left behind or what was gained. I, for one, plan to thank heaven every day for bringing you back into my life. The Horsemen are my brothers, and whenever they need me, I’ll answer their call, just as they will answer mine. But they aren’t my life. They aren’t my future. Jonah, Preach, and I have been working with Captain Hanger at Gringolet, training horses and breeding stock, but the three of us know it’s a temporary position, something to tide us over until we find our own calling. Well, I’ve found mine, Kate. It’s you.”

Her eyes misted again, and no amount of batting could keep the joyful tears from spilling down her cheeks. “Even if God keeps me at Harmony House for the next forty years?”

He smiled as he smoothed away her tears with the pad of his thumb. “Even then. Is it so hard to believe that I might find purpose here too? Maybe the Almighty brought me here not only to find you but to join in your work. As fine of a job as you and Miss Southerland are doing, the boys under your tutelage might benefit from a male perspective, someone who can teach them how to shoot, how to ride, how to”—he glanced at the window behind her—“replace a rotted railing.”

A ripple of excitement lapped at Katherine’s toes, then gained momentum as it rolled upward through her belly and her heart, until it crashed over her mind. Could he be right? Could the Lord have brought him here to join her ministry? As much as she and Eliza loved and supported the children here, she couldn’t ignore the fact that there were some things they just couldn’t give them. Certain practical knowledge such as Mark had mentioned, yes, but more than that. An example of godly manhood for the boys to emulate and for the girls to recognize in prospective suitors.

The scripture that had plagued her with doubts earlier returned to mind. Only this time, the next verse tagged along with it, offering a broader perspective. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.

Could it be that being subject to a husband who loved her with sacrificial dedication meant freedom instead of subjugation? That becoming one flesh extended to more than the bedroom? That her vows would be honored as if they were his own? That marriage would create a partnership marked by respect as well as love?

“I don’t have all the answers,” Mark admitted, his voice softening as he cupped the side of her face, “but I trust the Lord to find a way to make it work. Who knows,” he said with a chuckle, “maybe I’ll take over for that deputy who seems to think his job consists of manning an office and waiting for crime to find him.”

Bubbles of possibilities fizzed through her like sweet soda water. “You could give music lessons in the evenings.” If they were going to build their dream future, they might as well add all the trimmings.

Mark’s eyes crinkled. “Maybe even start a community band.” He slid his hand horizontally through the air as if painting a sign. “The Kingsland Calliope.”