Page 112 of Thaw My Heart

Screw him.

“No,” I whisper, putting the truck in reverse.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” he warns.

“Goodbye, Markus.”

With that, I slam down on the accelerator, hearing him scream my name as the truck whips around, nearly hitting a tree before taking off, heading out of the cursed cul-de-sac and onto the main road. Driving fast and far away from Nebraska towards no place in particular, except far away from the city.

I reach over and give Fox a pat on the head, telling her it’s going to be okay, that we’ll never have to fear him again. My heart pounds in my chest as I glance in my rearview mirror, half expecting the lights of his car to flash behind me, but there’s nothing but velvet darkness and a satisfied smile on my face. Because by the time he changed his tire, I’d be long gone.

My eyes burn from the tears threatening to break, gripping the steering wheel in refusal. I’m not going to cry for him. After the eight years of hell I spent loving a man who would never change, I’m not going to let this break me.

I refuse to let it break me.

The stars shine above me, twinkling in the moonless night. I think about the new life in front of me. A new home, a new town, new friends—real friends. And I’m going to need a new name.

The name Emma is worn out.

My nightmares kept me awake last night, rolling around for hours in Kit’s giant king-size bed. As well as my irrational thoughts of him staying at Alaska’s house, stuck in a snowstorm… like some kind of romance novel.

Except he’s supposed to be here—with me.

A scary revelation of my attachment to him that didn’t sit well in my gut last night. But luckily, there was a bottle of bourbon in the cupboard that washed away those fears quickly before they could take hold.

Fears about getting too close. Getting too personal.

I’m happy with this comfortable thing we’ve built, but there are lines, and considering his past, I think we were both comfortable never crossing them. But the fact he said he missed me last night… well, that was unexpected. I was only being playful with my comment, but I’m pretty sure Kit was being honest.

A thought that made me pour another glass of bourbon.

My mind is a scrambled mess by the time the sun drifts in through the frosty windows. It’s still early, but I’m already showered and ready for the day, feeling slightly hungover and anxious.

I’m one of the first people to arrive at the main barn, alongside Blake and Wes. Warm golden light filters through the trees as the sun rises from behind the mountains.

“Good morning, Sadie,” Blake greets me before lighting up a cigarette in one fluid movement.

My body freezes, heart pounding. After all the time I’ve spent with him, I’ve never seen him smoke. He didn’t smoke out in the fields, and well, at Elkhorn Tavern, you weren’t allowed to. How did I not know?

His eyes snap to my curious stare. “You want one?” he offers.

“No,” my throat swells. “No, thank you.”

Blake says something else, but his words sound like they’re underwater. My gaze is too transfixed by the orange glow pulsing at the tip, the smoke that floats in the crisp air. The smell alone takes my mind to the darkest places as I tuck my arms in tight.

An arm wraps around my shoulders, jolting me. “You’re here early,” Ryker grins, with a cigarette in the corner of his mouth. “Is Kit making an honest woman out of you?” he teases with light dancing around in his brown eyes.

My stare burns into him, suddenly uncaring about my fear of what’s in his mouth, but more afraid of what the hell he’s implying. “Excuse me?”

He squeezes me, hugging my shoulders tight before letting go. “I’m kidding,” he blows out smoke, finishing the last of his cigarette. “Just promise me you’ll have a big wedding. Not some private, no-frills thing the way Kit would want,” he wags his finger at me. “Weddings are great places to meet people, if you know what I mean,” he winks, bumping his arm into mine.

The fuck did he just say?

“Ryker, leave the poor girl alone,” Blake growls at him.

Wes nods, stroking his scruffy facial hair. “It’s too early for her to have to deal with your bullshit, Rye.”

I can’t even take in their words over my racing heart and racing pulse. My mind is drowning. My heart hurts to the point of pain like I’m being crushed under the weight of an anchor, pulling me down under the depths.